I live by Exploration and Recomendation.

The explorations do lead to unpleasent suprises. Its the part where you experience it without a "manual" that excites my brain. The recomendations are frequently laced with too much expectations. Thats how my life is. Oh and i do lots of dumb stuff. I'm attracted to eccentricity.

Too many people are wearing pink. Too many people have the same nauseating hairstyle. Too many people aren't concious of their identity. Too many people follow. Too many people makes its suffocating. Too many too many. - Kaki complain

NEeD * gasp* AAiR.....!

I guess this is why i enjoy nebulizer sessions [asthmatics should know the term]. I just have to sit in an empty room with an oxygen tank beside me and breathe pure oxygen. Ah.. [Get me an oxygen tank for my birthday ;p]

I went to the Mosque [Darul Ghufran] the other day to meet Helfi and pass him something. He practically lives there. Was in for zohor & asar [berjemaah] [Zohor&Asar are afternoon prayers.] He told me before that he's muazzin on most occasions. After zohor, i waited for asar in quiet contemplation. Thats when it happened. Helfi went behind the mimbar [somewhere] and words cant describe what i heard. I knew it was him doing the azan, but that good? Man it was far better that listening to a great juara like Idan Taal. It was great lah. The control of his voice. The everything. What made it awesome was that i didnt know he was capable of it. Grab a friend who can azan then you'll know.  Excellent Helfi. Ouh he got a blog.

[Btw Nas was right. I'm not capable of rhyming and i'm mostly mengarut. I did the Karut part. Helfi did the juara part. Mengarut part was that i invented own words like Salakan and Keriangan. Heh. Better improve.]

It sucks when you know there's always someone better than you. 14&1/2 was my Organic & Biological Chemistry [OBC] quiz which i topped. The next day the others were topping the other quizes. No lies when i say It sucked that i didnt topped that too. I'm trying to console myself ah. Khekhe.. I guess its better that they did, which helped to deflate my arrogance and stopped me from being anymore complacent. Thank you. =D
Ouh and it sucked too now i know Helfi should be able to sing better than me. But in this world, there is always someone better than you.  So i'm okay with it.

Someone once said: "Specialisation is for animals. We are humans.."

I think about this saying most of the time. It explains why i enjoy arts and science. Now that art is not a subject in my course, i take my Human Anatomy and Physiology drawings seriously. Art has also given me the ability to visualise Stereomerism easily. Its funny how i know some people who are artistically impaired when most of the times they are the top scorers. And vice versa.
I'm constantly finding a balance. Join Dikir, Join Rugby et cetera. However most of the times i forget my most important duty... You know what it is...

Helfi just got a blog. Just found out Jas has a blog. But Nas had a blog eons ago and i havent linked her. Forgive me for i have sinned.

It is in me. However i'm not making it a big deal.

Bak patah pepatah..Pag

Typed too much..
Pahlawan Putih Impikan pulih.

No time. No time at all.

Sorry ah. I would update frewuently if i had the time but it seems like i cant do anything at all anymore.  School is a dagger gingerly inserted to my back. Painfully painless. Talk about oxymorons.

14 & 1/2 over 16.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !

I'll try to blog again. So frustrated sia....
Term Test next week.
Pahlawan Putih.

Why should one remain kind to a person who wont reply with kindness?

Its so that you wont be him/her.

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Term Tests in a week. I have underestimated Science in Food Preparation. I should sharpen my Keris and get my armour ready. 

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Uztaz Ulum has  such an open mind. Its mind boggling to try and be really open minded.

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My computer has no playback audio stream thing. Have a hard time switching the computer on in the first place. Digh.

Digh. Digh. Digh.
Aper tu? Aku pun tak tau.

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What do you do when you find yourself giganticlly  annoyed but the unpleasent traits of people you make friends with in school? Tah ah. Geram tak lepas lepas.
Can we just end all ties? or do we push to find a postive trait that cancels off their bad ones?

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I have come to a conclusion that i have trouble sucking in my belly after every Haig Road Mee Kuah session. I order $3 one. Maut. I have also concluded that i may possibly be belly boncet because of my constant use of Suara Perut [Stomach Voice] in Dikir. After training it bloats. After alot of deep breathing and Silent non-odourous gas release it deflates back. Was that gross?

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My apologies.

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I think. I think. And i think.
Maybe the answer will only come to me when i die.

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I'm working on another blog. Sort of a portfolio. I think i'll call it Andalusia. I just like the name.. Andalusia....

I'm learning the ropes. Need help from the master himself
Pahlawan Putih Kian Bertatih...

Its not yet sempurna but here it goes...

Bunga
 
Juara
 
Mekarmu Diiringi Sinaran Asa,
Disulami Keharuman Syurga,
Kau Ciptaan Istimewa Yang Kuasa,
Menjadi Pujaan Setiap Yang Bernyawa
 
Di Wajahmu Tersirat Berjuta Rahsia,
Di Wajahmu Kulihat Berakhirnya Sengsara,
Ohhh...
Butakah Manusia,
Butakah Hati Mereka?
 
Namun Sudah Termaktub Segalanya,
Kekejaman Mereka Berleluasa,
Lenyaplah Dikau Tiada Berganti,
Layulah Dikau Sujud Menyembah Ke Bumi.
 
Mengapa Dikau Dicipta,
Jika Begini Akhirnya......
 
Yengki
 
Mari Dengar Cerita Hamba,
Kisah Bunga Berkembang Indah,
Ayunya Tiada Bandingan,
Riangnya Tiada Ukuran.
 
Kelantan
 
Terhurai Keriangan Bila Sayap Dibentangkan,
Didoakan Semerbakmu Untuk Sering Berterusan,
Engkau Rani Belantara Engkau Ratu Alam Semesta,
Rahsiamu Perlu Dibongkar Mungkin Dapatkan Penawar,
 
Tibalah Kemusnahan Dengan Alamat Salakan,
Sang Gergasi Lalu Muncul Kerja Hanya Binasakan,
Semuanya Dihancurkan Tiada Belas Kasihan,
Jahanam Ketenangan dan Hilanglah Keamanan.

Patani
 
Musnah Dikau  Hilang Harapan.
 
Mana Mungkin Kau Hidup Kembali?
 
Mana Mungkin Penawar Dapat Dicari?
 
Patah Tumbuh Hilang Berganti. Apakah Kita Buta? Dikau Hanya Secebis Alam Semesta. Penyalahgunaan Kini Berleluasa. Bilakah kedahagaan Kita untuk Kayu tumbuhan dan tanah lenyap?
 
Ada Pendapat Bahawa Sekutum Bunga yang kian telah pupus mungkin penawar AIDS.
 
Ramai pesakit kini layu dengar berita. Harapan Mereka bak dilari oleh jentolak gergasi. Senasib dengan si bunga ayu. 
 
Matang under construction.

Part of it ciptaan aku, Part of it ciptaan Helfi. Kami Bergabung minda. Still needs to be edited. Feel free to comment.
I know my malay sucks. But figure out which one i wrote and which one helfi wrote. Karut or Juara...Competishen takde prize. tag me K?

Anak Watan..
Pahlawan Putih.

Return to Innocence..........

Darn cool song. The title of the song is so powerful sia.

I dont want to reedit the previous post.

Talk about Tepak Sireh, there was a just a show on TV that showed it. Did you see did you see? Bloody nice. Must save up from now to buy a house like that. Every weekend my mates can chill. Boleh berdikir sampai malam. So much space.

Tumpat<----Aku---->Panjy. Where do i go? Whom do i follow? Such an opportunity susah nak dapat. Survey dulu. They invited me [ceh invitation] to their perdana practiceses.
Now i'm caught up between Dikir and Rugby. Susah susah.. Missed two trainings already khehe. Tah macam maner coach nak react. Harap harap besok hujan so i can roll in the mud again!

On Saturday, the malay arts group had a welcome party event for the freshies. Bloody. The president is a gay guy Kakak kirah mentioned before. Tah saper gi vote. Brrr... fun part was we the freshies of Panjy Sri Temasek got involved in it even though we only supposed to watch. Best seh.

I got a problem. Nowadays, the bestest word to describe me would be dazed. Daydreaming has gone up like about 3196million percent. That day funny lah i wanted to salam Kakak ya. Tgh gila. I would just stare into space like no one's business. I know i'm feeling. But feeling what? It;s really not a good idea to be dazed most of the times. Actually now i'm dazed and dunno whethe i am repeating what i said sjfdlkhg;sbg/ sdf gsnfkn i dunno ah. like just wanna sleep all day.

Heard of the NTU event, Awwallah Dondang? I think i'd be performing. Check out www.perbayu.com . This one also last minute.

Nastassia has a blog.! Aku dah gila.

Gila gila gila. Hazel called me a retard. New perspective doesnt hurt.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I lost concentration again!

Pernah dengar Ewa Bulan cute? hahah Panjy merepek ah

Di Sulami Keharuman tanah liat.
Pahlawan Putih

I'm nibbling on orange peel. i finished the orange.
 
Tepak Sireh is great. I like the 2nd floor to the building. Its so bloody spacious. Airconditioned summore. Its a big house that i would imagine how i want my retirement abode to be. so wooden. So peaceful. First of all i was a tepak sireh as a distant relative is having a wedding. The food was ladened with oil which made it nauseating. However i had two servings. After a whole lot of passing by people you dont know, me Kakak ya and sahar went to eat at the Halal chinese chicken rice place at bugis. Then a short trip to the esplanade to meet kakak ya's friend and then back home.
 
....................................
...................................
 
I'll reedit this one too. Lost my concentration to blog. khe khe
Pahlawan Putih
 
 

I had so much to blog but i couldnt remember.
Kwa kwa kwa kwaaaa...
 
This week was a hectic, only-comparable-to-five-consecutive-somersaults-done-on-a-wire-strung-across-the-grand-canyon, week. There were great things i did.
 
One was to watch Spiderman 2 with some of my classmates. To name them, JJ, CW, Shingo, Jasmine, Hazel, Angel, Joyce, Asmah, and  uh ... um.. someone left out? Oh ya Gwen.  Its strange that we even agreed to go as it was one of the days we have been planning to zoom back home and sleep like a koala on a eucalyptus tree. The movie was awsome and the filmography was better in the sense viewers could feel [and even understand] the solitude and lonliness of Peter Parker. 
 
On Wednesday, I went with Sarah to meet Mr Muhd [My ex-art teacher who's studying in autralia now.]  All the way at Suntec sia. He show us some of his artworks. Most were awesome. Just awesome.

Rugby was also happening. I'd hope it rained before training. Yah tell me i'm resembling a pig's habit but i like it that way. Rolling in the mud. Coach decided to teach us tackling. The drills feeling like this... Holding on the centre of tree trunk while someone at the base of the tree, makes it lumber with a chainsaw in his hands and yells TIMBER!. A huge plop. Anyhus, i skipped last thurday's training as it didnt rain. Lame excuse huh? Instead went to Pizza Hut for dinner with family. Bolehlah makan watermelon.
 
Yesterday, was 50% of the fun and exhaustion rolled up into one mess. Started school at 9. It was a lab session and it slipped my mind that my lab coat stink of baby vommit [butyric acid]. Before going to school, i didnt let go of the deodrant spray[targeting the coat] until i choked on its fumes.  *Cough* rubs my neck. Human Anatomy and Physiology lab was the most relaxed compared to the other more strict report taking labs. Biology has always been easier than chemistry to me.  Then after Tutorial ended at 4, we went to town: Jasmine, Hazel, Angel, Cw and Eve. My body screaming for rest sia.
 
I left halfway. Remember all the talk about wanting to write lyrics and improve my malay? Well i dunno what happened. Now, i intend to gabung badan eh salah, gabung otak dengan the one the only, Helfi. His malay is darn better than mine so ya. Ardi karut gave me the tema.... "Bunga". Flower.  [For those of you that didnt understand, i am to produce lyrics for a dikir song with the theme "Flower".] Thinking of the interpretation itself is quite a task. Think a bout it. Bunga. Bunga aper? Nak tulis style aper?. I was thinking of Melur [English name: Jasmine]. Heheh...Nothing to do with you Jasmine. =D
 
And in a short while, i'd be making my way to school. Panjy Sri Temasek and the rest of the Malay Arts Group would give us Freshies a taste of what they do. Haiyah.
 
Oh and i spent the whole of yesterday similar to how i did last Friday. Went Prayers, School, Town and Geylang Serai CC in a Thobe.  Thobe. not juba. Juba for ladies. Noora, how? One day ah.. Mesti gila babi nyer.
 
I dont need to bring a spare everywhere i go. Sheesh
 
Why i talk a lot?
Palawan Putih

Whoosh.

Twist aaand Shooooout!! The song came to my attention when my sister brought it up. "What song has a part where they go aa aA AA AAA!" At that point i knew the song but not the title. Had to ask my parent.

School has been really an opposite of what i had envision it to be. Packed with tutorials, 3-hr labs, lectures and lectures. Pain in the Tertiary ass i say.

Recently we had a lab involving Butric Acid. It's more commonly known as the substance that makes vommit smell. Baby's vommit. The whole cohort of us went around school smelling like vommit. Imagine the other people's faces and reactions. Some even smelled themselves to check oblivious to the fact that we were the ones that stunk.


Come back, i'll reedit this one again
Pahlawan Putih

Aku senasib Diana.
My Msn Messenger's not working either. Not available to be exact. This would explain why i am "offline" most of the time. Sorry guys.

Happy Birthday Kakak ya. =D

Did you know Paris turned around spells Sirap?

Ah its those periods of slumberness again. The weather's cool in the afternoon evening and night. Tidor all day. I study at night. Its makes more sense. I dunno how.

Yesterday being Friday, i decided to spend the day in an Oman origin juba. Wore white pants, white t-shirt and yeah white underwear. Felt pure. Really pure. It was an interesting experience. Went back to ESSS with Sarah. She's arab and she say i looked like her father. Glances from my head to toe. Buat bodoh. Nothing wrong what. Then headed for the mosque. After which i went to school for an hour of PIPC tutorial. More glances from suspected shallow minded students. Earphones stuffed to my ears, Tandak Timur Tengah playing, I felt like i was back in Medinah or something. The juba thing really comfortable. Conclusion, i was expecting something drammatic like the bus driver uncle not allowing me into the bus but instead he smiled and i was just another passenger. The younger ones, my peers[not my class], stared as if i broke a rule that doesnt exist on paper. Their giggles and masked laughter only confirmed the capacity of their brain. Dodos.

Berkembankan Kain Sutera,
Mayang Digerbang
Aduhai Ayunyaaaa....
Pahlawan Putih.

It rained the most of the afternoon in the east.

Rain = mud. Bergolek-golek, slide here slide there in the mud. Can imagine the scratches if it was a dry field. Perah baju, air yang keluar seperti teh susu cair. Overall stranious. Got to get used to it. I want to remain committed to a sport coz i never have been able to. My muscles are aching. And if you think Rugby is just a sport full of aggression and minimal mercy, then your right.

haha.

Finally! Helfi managed to pass the "CD". Didnt cross my mind that it was gonna be Dimensi II. Words cant express how pleased i am. **** up part is a crack at the centre of the CD and only a portion of Cenderawasih is audible. [Bows then Salutes to Kelkatu.] Its should be the greatest song ever recorded in Sg. Its becoming an obsession. Another track that i repeatedly record on tape [so i can listen on my walkman] is Tandak Timur Tengah. Strangely and frustratingly, i cant copy it to my computer and make it my background sound. So close yet so far.

Shidah got lot of catching up ah..

Sometimes when people, who rarely exhibit their pearly whites in joy, actually smiles, it brightens up your day.

AAAAAAAAAh aku tak nak percaya ini semua. Apa yang dikatakan hanya asap semata mata. Its all bluff.

Kau pinta didodoikan rintikan hujan,
Ku mampu rintih senandung kedukaan....
ADUHAI...
Pahlawan Putih

Thanks man.

WOOOHHOOOO!
Yesterday for rugby we practiced the contact type. Touch rugby lame ah. Driving skills lah. Ram the person with your bloody shoulder! Sadly i was named sandiwara king. haha. Action lebih. The part is when i want to ram someone i run fast then slow down to hit the guy. haha. Kecho. Body aching sia. Also i know i need to train more as i dont have stamina and the coach was "If you can still walk i want you to train". Ever heard of chest cramp? i get it often when over exert. But no warm up for chest seh. bodoh. We did more rolling on the floor[we werent supposed to hahahha] and this guy, Shaik he got a scratch and said "My first mark of rugby. hehe" I already got mine, have you? [not taken from the breast cancer advertisement.] Right arm ard the elbow. mmhmm

I swear i sore. Sorer that ever. Where those Tiger balm plaster thingy? Yoko-yoko?

Rugby isnt the only thing i find hard to handle. Math. @#&$? confusing. Pop quiz with only two questions and i am confirmed to get one right. Bahlul. Easier than A maths, Harder than E maths. Senang dier cakap. I'll have to spend time revising all my subjects and practice alot of maths. Trouble is i have to find time. Rugby and all dah balik sampai kul 9. Dah makan, mati sementara. No time to do anything.

Argh 7.30! Gtg school!
Pahlawan Putih

Hitam Beerti Hitam Lah Ia,
Tak Mungkin Putih Jadi Nya,
Tak Mungkin Bangkai Gajah Ditutupi,
Daun Nipah.

A person is not who he last say he is, He is who he has always been.

Dont fall for what he last says. Let it be known that you are an irritation. Just an irritation. The mosquito that leaves itchy annoying bumbs. The fly that buzzes around the ears when enjoying a meal. The thick chuck of phlem that linger's in ones throat. The pain only equivilante to when you stub your toe or a paper cut. You are nothing. Nothing but an irritation. You can never result in something massive. Even if you do, you're just an irritation. Use trust wisely.

Our timetables just arent syncronized enough. I still have yet to try the Italian Muslim food Shidah has been talking about. Cant manage to go together.
Had rugby practice on thursday and man was it great. Only disorganised ah. Tak warm up or anything we started training already. After training and not knowing how the game works we played touch rugby. First among us new ones. Again disorganized coz we not that sure what to do. Then vs the experienced seniors. Kecoh siak. Got a CUT!! YEAY!! About time i got one. hahaha

Dikir is getting to its inactive state. Less people showed up yesterday night. But still we jammed the night away. Forgot the lyrics to the song we learnt..Rajin Adik Rajin.... Swear i love the Haig Road Mee Kuah. Always look foward to fridays. Ordered $3 one yesterday [add 50 for extra mee and kuah] Huge plate but i was still disatisfied. [I'll try and see how the portion for $4 one is. (or i could just buy 2 sets)] Thick red liquid that tastes so much better than blood.

I think i got big shoulders. I know i have enormous shoulders. Like a coat hanger. hahah..

Friday, on my way to class, there were girls in baju kurung who cornered me and forced me to view their strikingly yellow flyers. Flabbergasted, i scanned the area for an escape route. Being cornered of course there are no escape routes and minimal people around. To think i even looked up for any lose ropes to swing my way out. Beads of sweat trickled down my sculptured cheek [Ceh.] I looked at the potentially deadly ladies, "Oh no I'm out numbered, there are five of them. I must act hastely". I knew i had to reach into my pocket to call for backup. ARGH! Too late. One of them in a hijab began to speak to me with eye contact. Dang. Hahaha. colourful huh? Well they were from the Malay arts group. They wanted me to join the production group. I said no and went ahead with Panjy Sry Temasek. After filling up a form, [here's the semangat part] they were giving out berkats. Haha. 3 sweets wrapped in gold coloured cloth thing tied with a ribbon. Like berkat orang kahwin. Just shows that they take recruiting seriously.

(Squidward like) WHAT WHAT WHAT? what unlink me? [Dusts shoulder.]

Anyone up for barbeque[Tomorrow]?
Pahlawan Putih
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