Besok hal besok.
smalam hal smalam.
ini hari hal ini hari.............
tats wat someone said to me bile dier frustrated with me.................for terlupe nak bawa something. pathetic fool.

irfan

hey.
Yesterday, i went to BK. Had an interresting encounter dengan Tablighs.[muslim preachers] I felt disturb by the encounter so i asked my friend, Helfi, who these tablighs were. Found out that they were not actually from Ghufran. Helfi said they were muslim preachers using the name Masjid Darul Ghufran illegaly. He also experienced being preached to be in the tabligh group. He declined it pasal they were not a legal organisation. Anyways he said the "hang" alot around Ghufran, sembahyang jemaah and all.
The encounter also made me wonder what the meaning of my name was because apparently the preacher was not that sure and so said Padang Arafah. Dier tu mesti nyanyok. asuming without bukti. get your facts right before u FORCE me to pray again.......
so this is the meaning of my name...........
IRFAN: thankfulness
Some peoples names i know of and their meanings.....
ADEL: just [my youngest brother]
AMIR, AMEER: prince [Rashidah's fren in canada]
FAISAL, FAYSAL: decisive; resolute [Juara in my sch dikir team, hakeem's primary sch fren]
HADI: guiding to the right [classmate(the irony)]
HAKEEM, HAKIM: wisdom; one of God's ninety-nine qualities [my brother]
IMRAN: a prophet's name; meaning unknown [....]
KAMIL, KAMEEL: perfect; one of the ninety-nine qualities of God [classmate(the irony)]
KHALDUN, KHALDOON: old Arabic name meaning "eternal."[ madrasah friend]
LUFTI: kind [cousin]
RAFI: exalting [my uncle. suits his character]
[all this from http://www.20000-names.com/male_arabic_names.htm ]
i think i m happy..... bout my name i mean. hai k peace.

hey there........... tak nak blog for now. pasal rushy rushy. aku masih tak dapat gambar hai cik imran!. btw, really glad ur back. well school has been a bitch. only thing good recess tak usah queue. feeling really really down. i dont noe why lah........... maybe its jus too weird to address. rashidah....... back off. hahahaha. kenape kau nak tau? anyways............. dah tired lah. bye
irfan

Issue bout: men's weight is equivalent to women's age?
Do u agree? i dont. Kalau ego, standard lah for males, but weight..........maybe lah. Or maybe i m too buzy keeping white teeth, clean hair, drinking 8 glasses of water, doing my art, studying for my o'levels [i wish. more like worrying bout when i m goin to start studying], deciding what to wear wiythg only 5 options oin what i CAN wear when i go out, maitain a healthy soicial life, listen to irritating siblings, plan for my future and so much more to even bother to take notice of my weight. Did i make it sound like a tedious task? [no offence to the weight concious men around]

I m really bother by the fact tat other people's blog are filled with wisdom but not mine................poems and nasihat for the mind and all........i hope it doesnt become a factor for ur decision to visit my blog. please also tag more. i feel left out. [as if]

PARANOIA!!!!!!!!
its everywhere.......... can we help it? I know this person yang in this very second slammed with other people's paranoic behaviour towords dier. Kesian dier. I also became one of those persons. I really am sorry. i wont do it again Maybe pasal dier ni seperti idol, and dier punye company is greatly appreciated thats y this is happening to dier.[trying very hard to not reveal dier punyer gender/ identity] kesian dier. this person i noe, i feel dier's insecurities. Probably because looking at dier reminds me of me. And dier is so determind to help other org punye insecurities[like mine]. i analysed, found out that dier is maybe trying to help others and in the near future hope ade org yang help dier with dier's insecurities. [if u r reading this, i want u to noe i love u alot. i am here to help u as u might have help me.] (hopefully u have d add to my blog. i noe u noe my blog add) the nearest song i could depict u would be water. [if u dont noe the song, its from lauryn hill unplugged] [we would have to change the sex of the song to ur gender lah]

Went to paya lebar today. Nak kasi pengetuk gong....and balik rumah. so anyway........i took the slow bus 21 home. Change of plans: i dropped at Bedok reservoir and took a quiet stroll to think bout things, self reflect, and tell everyone there i could play the takbir tune on my flute. I did tau, mainm sekuat kuatnye. the i went home and now i m here.

Ye yo
nafrikid

Hey.
why is no one making a date with me for me to exhibit my takbir flute playing skill? i m hurt tau........(as if)
Skipped math extra lesson today. It was after my english test. Circumstances did not permit me to go for the freaking thing. Anyways i hate the teacher. Dia tu mcm chinese psycopath. And he sweats a lot. If u were to ask him a qns, he will leave sweat drops on our papers. Like its disgusting. Hilang selera thinking how masin it is......eeeee (imagine mee sup)

aku dah tak tau aper nak diperbualkan. my life dah changed. alot. thanx to the caring pple of the world. gonna miss "Immerse" and dier punye philipines accent when he leaves for tanah melayu up north. Have u heard it? u must tau. dier dengan Chili Pries dier.

I feeling listy, so i will make another list. This time is what i want to do before i die.
-Haji. [or at least go there again.]
-Get emotionally attached with a girl. [tak stead pun takpe as long we love each other][because stead is jus a title. i dont need one]
-Then i we would sing the songs I'm in love with you -e.badu and Turn Your Lights down low - lauryn hill & bob marley, together. [doesnt have to be on stage as long we both can hear each other's voices] [record it sekali if possible]
-Be really fluent in playing the seruling.[imran tolong aku] & rebana ibu.
-Form my own dikir barat group. [if possible make it a family thing. get all my 45++ cousins to do a persembahan. tat will be funny k.]
-Learn to cook rendang, nasi briyani and sauce for tahu goreng. [cik rafi, help me with d nasi briyani part]
-Bungee jump.
-Get a room of my own.
-Understand the basics of genetics.
- go to a e. badu concert.
-find more stuffs for me to do before i die.
.........................................................

I forgot some stuff that i wanted in the previous list so here they are: [if i had money what i would want]
- Keris. [to go with my tanjak]
- Degreed, sunglasses & swimming googles. [ kalau i stil cant get contacts]
- electric razor. [so i wouldnt be berkumis]
- laptop.
- tape recorder...
....................oh yes. stuff for my favourite sustegen drinking cousin : kakak ya

hai. insya allah.
i m getting myself in weird, messy situation sekarang. i m in love with so many people. NorNadia, Faqeehah, Dian...................... it is just tat i m scared of commitment. very. to break someones heart is like to break my own heart. i m really sorry people yang aku telah sakit kan hati. Cik norli i m really sorry bout the guan soon issue. it really hurt thinking bout this stuffs. and it sad to noe i got it from my dad. dier yang ajar all of us to laugh at people. especially if someone were to have wetted their bed [last time back in 147]. i really think twice before i say anything. so most of the time i dont talk.........................
Bring me water, water for my mind.....................
Nafrikid

Hey unappreciative world. i love u.
Finally i noe how to at least play a song on the seruling. Mary had a little lamb dan Takbir Aidilfitri. Like it is a wow. This all couldnt happen kalau imran was not here. So if u feel like in the mood of a takbir tune msg me @ 97152038 and i will get back to u. The tunbe calms the mind tau. very relaxing and stimulating to the stressed mind - migranes too. Ini includes a small charge of $4 lah. Ko ingat aper? Mr Kasban cap duit? hai. if he did, it wont make a difference to my allowance. Not including Gst tau.
Anyway. Kalau aku ader duit, i will do/puchase this stuffs:
-Belanja every single human being i noe yang i evered hutanged.
-Buy my frens presents for their passed birthdays that i could only wish them Happy Birthday coz i my wallet happened to be kering dengan secara kebetulan.
-buy and telan a small diamond. (dont ask me why. i myself dunno. feeling inner wealth)
-get my self a new phone dengan line i can afford to pay for. (ericsson)
-a digital camcorder as small as i palm
-a new wallet.(my current OP is merepek
-a new pencil case.(mine dah hitam macam daki aku pun)
-new shoes and sandal.
-(supposedly by now korang dah understood its goin to be new kan? so i not goin to mention it tau) bags. (blue and brown)(backpack & sling bag)
-shelf for my stuff from Ikea(duh! love the smelll of their pine wood. i'll drill it up myself)
-Cds (erykah badu for myself. and give kakak ya a new copy coz i feel guilty lending hers and then rosak kan ke or damaged it)
-10 more serulings.
-buy a freaking tanjak. wear it around and so it shall be the next in thing sparked of by moi.
-imagine pakai tanjak around town. orang mesti ketawa. so i will hire bodyguards to guard a radius of 1m around me.
-Fund Tumpat. Baju nusantara k. How pathetic is that.
-get myself notebooks. like ten.
-more shirts so i could look like a divorced old school host of Americas Funnies home videos. (antum fahiem tum? tak? tanya lah sahabat ku imran.)
-skin cream.that works on exzyma. (so i can get rid of the hickey look alike on my neck and the itch on my under leg[its under the knee part.sometimes it itches like hell] and not be tegur-ed everytime by stranger i dont even noe
-Contact lenses! how can i lupe. or not i jus go for the laser surgery. $1000 ketul dok.
-did i mention blanja orang yang i feel deserving?
thats like all i can think of now. Happy Birthday Khabir. so mcm...............my precious brain needs a break. Love u. Love u both. Love u both to be together.....
irfan

hey. new look. good tak? the best i could do with my tight online schedule.

FRIDAY.......
Went to school as penormal. Went to masjid darul ghufran just in time for friday prayers. It was raining tau. So guess what. i took my air sembahyang there and then. While walking across the field coz didnt want to make one freaking round to the ruang abolutions and miss one rakaat. After that i lazed ard. Ate mother's nasi ayam. Not the best but she does put effort in it and it was tasty lah. Dari pagi i planned to go haig road to return the gong that was in my house.
(my school rented it dari tumpat so it got very complicated. We needed the gong coz it had a nicer pitch suitable for dikir silat.
[dikir silat: silat bertempuh dahulu then dikir would perform an intro so wee do it simuntaneously then vice versa thing. baju lawa k kitenye. amuk purbanye. we were like wizards. baju blue on with. the blue ader like gold stars. suited the occassion so well pasal colour theme for Sparks {the performance} was also blue and white. i wish i had a pic] ..... back to the gong issue.........
i wanted to go to the gig at yp so i asked my teacher if i could leave after the tengahari show. didnt tell her i was goin to a gig coz amazingly she didnt ask. [abis pukul 5] Dapi wanted me to bring the gong home pasal dier tinggal kat west so he is like ko bawa balik ah and he didnt mind they use the east spring gong. oh ya.....gong includes the canang inside it. There was maracass but east spring nye maracass pathetic. so i rushed home mintak duit and all..............) back to the friday issue ......hahaha confused already?

So i made my way to paya lebar. felt really sad pasal expecting it to be my last visit for a long time..........sedih k. anyway i went to abg farzeel's "adopted" shop to kasi cik rafi's video cam nye wire thing and salamed uncle bakar too. my the long journey to geylang serai cc. Saw the saga seeds. Couldnt help smiling. Btw the gong it heavy tau. It was like really irritating coz i had to adjust everytime so as not to have a line across my pusat beacause the gong was balanced there. got the key to the store from this mak cik. Went to place the gong and slipped a note to Tumpat. Contents of the letter was lame and sappy ah but i had to, to show my appreciation and why i couldnt be there. Saya lalu menuju ke haig road market. Grabbed a milo and $2 roti john yang the best i have ever tasted pasal the right chemistry in the chilli sauce. Mmmm..... Checked out the flutes at balai kesenian melayu or something like tat..... it had this painted seruling. $12 k. it was blue with gold spots. looked freaky a bit.[ blow on the top type] i bought a $4 one at the same spot i did last time. It makes this freaky split personality thing. went home. made contact with my father at last. he didnt say anything bout me goin home late the day before. selamat. I was like getting crazy coz on saturday i had this pure malay test. All three papers. I went thru a kamus.imagine. i got only a few words ah. didnt help much. hahaha

Saturday.................
woked up pagi pagi buta. went to school. Had flag raising which may have been in the only one in the whole genre of secondary schools. [love that word: genre] i was totally unprepared. I was so freaking confused bout what paper 1 was. it was compo lah. takut.....got thru it like it was a breeze. though i noe i wont score. i will never. i suck in malay. They gave us a 45min break [reming us of something rite kakak ya? hahaha] canteen didnt sell any more food by then. semua dah di abis kan by the wretched lower sec. still got more stuff to blog. but i gtg. due to father reasons.
i finally can play a small part of the takbir on the flute. thanx imran.
Why postpone to the next lifetime when now still exists?

Irfan

hey.
went to the gig yesterday at ard 7. waited at the bus thingy. smsed pple so at least i had company coz man merepek k some of the pple there. with the oi skin head crap, ska, the rudies lah. some even dengan black leather jackets and they were black metals. they dont fit there tau. islam kan dah cukup as a "group". anyway then imran had to fetch me. i really am sorry u had to do that with all the crap u faced from 10am there. jus that i didnt reliase he gave me a msg inviting me to stand with him back stage. had a a time where the the gig itself was insignificant to me at all. i was like jus staring at the sky and trees enjoying the breeze. that was the good thing tau, i didnt sweat at all. thank god for malaikat angin(if there is one) and his order from allah to make yp windy(at least the backstage). Shailla, this girl that i was attracted to sec two, was there. she told me she was gonna be there but i didnt see her until 10pm dengan this other bitch, i conviniently forgot her name. by the time i saw them dorang dah nak balik. anyway thanx again imran for obliging and half stand beside me to keep me company and not feel neglected. and i have to mention, my butt skarang firm giler leaning against the railings for the time i was there. yp was so small. i thought it was much bigger tau. got halaued by imran at ten (just kidding) he advised to me fo home before i get into trouble. so i did.
i was lucky i could go pasal ader good excuse. had this public performance i had to go to. excused myself from it. didnt tell my mom so its not considered lying. i just didnt inform her. tak berdosa kan?

to those pple yang concern. or at least concerned bout me.
This is me.
i have not had a bestfriend since primary 6 at Tampines primary school (to peservere and succeed). been independent since. my back is aching standing emotionally alone. many bad experiences when secondary life started. pple start to betray u, backstab bullshit. i began not to trust anyone. started to be come a social hermit. gave myself the excus that i was the quiet psychologist in conversations. imran please bear with me. its hard for me to go expressive. its hard for me to trust. feel like giving up. give up on every thing. never had a male role model in my life since i was born. haniz couldnt be bothered unless of course its about him lah. never reliase i have been so lonely in my life. well things are going to change. (setan: " hahahaha.....not if i can help it.") please help me to find myself before i ...............i ................u noe! i cant thank you enough for trying o open me up. u noe who i u r. may god bless u and release u from the stress u face already not helping and healing me. i promise not break ur heart instead keep it like my precious serulings wrapped in the sutera-like cloth of my heart and soul..................

irfan
(its nice to use my own name once in a while)