Hair...

When you got it, you dont want it. When you dont, you want it.

The day of my last exam, i cut my own hair. Used those thining scicssors things. Yup. Just cut anywhere that seems thick or too long. My mom said "macam kena gigit tikus" translated, like nibbled by mice. Before the stray strand fell out of my head it looked okay, but after showering it really looked weird. haah but i m not really concerned. For now i'd have settle with the 90s sharukh khan kembang hairdo. hahahahahah. Hair will grow.
Hair will grow anywhere in that matter. Maybe another small step to manhood. While i was towelling myself two days ago i notice a solitary chest hair. It was quite long. In fascination i pulled it to test its strenght. Pity it got pulled out. hahaha.

Yesterday happened to be another misadventure with Helfi. Went to Simei Banquet cos even in the evening it wasnt that crowded. Ingat nak get back to businesss. Haiyah.

Gonna whip something up today on mom's request. But just incase the maid already cook macaroni soup. Incase my food turns out inedible.


arni
"weiii pergi zoo tu seronok tau... SERYUZ"

Sebenornya terasa pun nak gi zoo. Masa primary school dulu asik pergi abeh macam terpingin nak pergi. But $15, mana nak cari? hahah


angel
"we are watching spanglish? who is we? was it a decision made in the theatre that day? >.< ouchh. i found good shows. csi is at 2am. =) "

How can you forget? hahah no lah never make plans. I asking to make plans now. Is there a different 4person we?


Fad
"kahkahkah. funny lah u. anyway where's the dk performance?"

heh. Thanks. At temasek poly.


shidah
"kyp writin long entryla. I njy reading it actuali." ­

Hahah so funny how i tagged this for you. Muchas gracias


nas
"aiseh. nice pantun or is that sajak. dammit. i've lost touch with melayu already hah hah. hope things are ok. take care!"

I also dunno. hahah maybe leaning more to sajak. Take care too. just few more days huh? hehe

Im almost 1/5 done with the tie and dye processes. Thats 4/5 done with the stitching. Still got pulling, preservation and dying and taking stitches out. Wy did i had to go toture myself?

Still looking for a job. Only difference is lazily. With the practices and pentas and khatulistiwa and everthing. i dunno. Maybe like 5 days work like crazy and get fast cash can ah.. but if long term then no way.

Going off to chop onions etc.

Catch you some other time
Pahlawan Putih

'Vague post mode' Activated

I'm sorta angry upset all that. Yesterday night was worst. It sorta subsided with my haig road mee kuah.. ahhh

Cerita dia gini
Berdasarkan ulat nak jadi naga
Setarakah ia dengan yang asli?
Kononnya bergurindam dah lama

Ahai bagai kacang lupakan kulit
Kenapa mencuri nama sapi sahaja?
Aduh! Garam ke luka meningkat sakit
Tetap ku yang dapat akhir katanya

Bak menghempas batu ke kaca
Semakin lama semakin perit
Dibentangkan luas dek saujana
Dikembankan longgar tak berjahit

Anjing pandai menyalak
Apa lainnya dari dirimu?
Berkata malah tidak bergerak
Tak terputus dongengganmu

Berhikayat masa kegemilangan nanti
Mimpi bahtera gagah mengalahkan mereka
Kononnya "Hanya perlu masa lagi"
Nescaya bahtera hanya didaratan sahaja

Perjanjian disimpul kusut
Kerpercayaan disuap syaksangka
Lelah aku mengutip melukut
Setiap kali runtuh segalanya

No more,
Pahlawan Putih

Mat Bond.



Well it seems that the unnecessarily large sunglasses was not the end. I got the matty shirt at Giant M'sia for 19.90RM. Not even S$10. hahah. The real reason to the shirt is that im secretly a secret agent. (ssshhhh! dont tell ah.. if not, not secret anymore) The outfit would be useful if i am required to go undercover to inflitrate the mat community. Took the 3/4 tappered advice but not enough safety pins. hahaha I'd say i'd blend in just finely. But it could get messy if they knew i wasnt even malay.. Jeng jeng jeng.

PST training was okay. Cept the complicated move which wasnt even dikir barat related. I wont give much detail cept it'd be crazy ah. Pentas tickets $6 if im not wrong. 29th april. Do support ME i mean us. hehehe
New found resposibility. Oh no. Bak tunggu mekar menggembang.

For today,
Nothing much in the morning and afternoon. Go stitch somemore on the tie & dye cloth. Go finish up lyrics with helfi. Helfi's excited he just got Dikir Temasek, M. Nasir's Mentera Semerah Padi and Devdas vcd. He quite handicapped when it comes to updates. hahaha. But at least he's the genius in the malay language. I'm just the amateur with the crazy ideas.
Go of to haig road. Bloody Mee kuah, here i come! oh and i'll be meeting the gang also. End of the boycott? who knows?

Thanks Kakak kirah for introducing me to L/i/m/e/w/i/r/e. I was waiting for the time they would release Michael Bublé's It's Time album together with VCD and all. Well i'll download the some songs for now. Like Quando quando quando. Nelly Furtado and Michael Bublé? can it get any better? okay back to downloading.

Matty matty, what's so funny? In a rich man's world.
Pahlawan Putih

8.5 on the richter scale

Women clutching children ran into the darkened streets of Banda Aceh, crying and chanting "Allahu Akbar," or "God is Great." Others grabbed small bags of clothes and fled their tents and homes for higher ground.

Another man rushed instead to the local mosque, saying "Where can I go, you can't outrun a tsunami."

Many were crying and jumping into cars and onto motorbikes and pedicabs to head for higher ground. Two women wearing prayer shawls and sarongs grabbed a fence to steady themselves.

I pray for their safety. Hope the 300 death toll doesnt increase any further. To think at 12am singapore time i was disengaging in sin through animated Striperella and going off to bed. Shows how really lucky we are...


Well i promise. No more long winded posts. This one should be the last one hehe.

1 missed calls.
Irfan: Hello. Ko call? Ah ada apo hal?
Indrah: Apa kena ada hal ke nak call kau?
Irfan: hahah takdalah tanyo je. Mana tau?
*bla bla bla
Indrah: Aku tak gi show on the 1st tau. Dah apply untuk leave pasal nak gi KL. Tapi KL tak jadi.
Irfan: Abeh asal tak gi show?
Indrah: Aku nak gi zoo ah. Tak nak waste aku nyer leave.
*At this point irfan chokes gula-gula hacks hitam he was keeping in his mouth. Hemlich maneuvered himself.
Irfan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ko ni tak betol ah HAHAHAHAH
Indrah: Ko dengar dulu. Aku ada plan nak gi around Singapore. Gi Jurong Birdpark, Night safari
Irfan: hahaha

Dah kenapa tah. hahah.

It seems like plans are made for me slowly day by day. On sunday, nadia asked whether i could accompany her to the gym. Why not? long time also neber go run run and pull pull and push push. Went yesterday. I could get used to the Nutritionist cum diet planner cum fitness instructor thing. I help vain pots keep their potty figure. Nek Lina was at the counter and she remembers me as the 'Anak' Cikgu. Which reminds me she kirim salam. i forgot. The best part of the day was the milo we bought from Macdonald's after the gym. Then took train to tampines and signed up for temporary job with kelly services.

Back to the plans talk. I got pst training today and dikir on wednesday. Who knows i might have something on thursday? then friday the show. Drew the design i had in mind to the cloth already. Wanna get a needle before i can start sewing the strings that are eventually gonna be pulled then causing me to get blisters. Thats tie and dyes basically about, suffering. its most shitty when the final outcome isnt good.

Hopefully more plans settle nicely providing me with a eventful holiday

They say we must share the good things in life. Here's Nelly Furtado with a spanish zing. Island of Wonder.

Ku mengorak setiap langkah dengan hati yang rawan

Apakah hidup tiada bermakna?
Pahlawan Putih

Desaru... kau penghibur jiwaku...



















Headed to Desaru at ard 12. Crossing the causeway was suprisingly a breeze. After an hours' drive weaving through meandering hill hugged roads on that satisfyingly cloudy day, we entered the gate to Desaru Fruit Farm. Bought a soursop, mangoes, Jambu Kings-water apple, a packet of nangka and someother stuff.
After a few more winding roads parellel to overhead cables and endless neat rows of oil palm plantation, we reached Bandar Penawar. Penawar meaning antidote in English, it was sorta what i needed. haha. Went to the same restaurant we went a few years back with cik tipah all, Bahteramas. We had Sotong goreng tepung, Udang goreng tepung, Tom yam daging, Tofu hotplate and rice. How could a freaking simple meal of breaded prawns and squid, beef tom yam and hotplate tofu be sooooo ummmph.. Puas aku makan sepingan.
Then we headed to the mosque for Zohor/Asar jamak qasar.
After that we went to Tanjong Balau to get some road side hawker food. Too bad there wasnt any. Went to the beach to just take a stroll, in the the end we were 'beached' there instead of Le Cemara -where we normally go. What magnificance. The beach not that dirty with the exception of the area closest to the grass and the sand is very fine (both two meanings of fine). Littered with seashells i could barely ask for more. I had the most fun crashing onto the waves, defying/going against the force of nature.
Satay man with his hot coals strapped onto his bike. Nice. 1RM ice cream. Nice. Mom gave the babat part of the satay to the cat that looked like young Baby. I tried to give a nangka. hahah no it didnt eat it, we were out of babat lah.
3 big mommas and a confused girl/wanna be guy. Sueeting (you know that attention grabbing sound you make with your lips) at me. Outnumbered i tried my best to act ignorant to the courting rituals of mats and minahs. Im too young for that shit. hahaha.

Im setting up Check For Hermit Crabs Before You Pick Shells Movement also known as CFHCBYPS movement. The movement will be for people to be aware of the ill effects of picking up shells with hermit crabs in them. My mom picked a shell that we realised had an occupant only in my toilet, Singapore. Its still alive now as we speak.

My youngest brother are in most of the pics. I think i should pay him for part time modelling hahaha.. Anyway i think he'll be my Apprentice! -not related to Mr Donald (duck) Trump.

As i expected it was so freakin' hard to convince my mom to get me a phone. Call me a brat but a brat knows when you could be saving money. There was a shop in malaysia selling a brand new K700i at 999RM which is aprrox only S$432. (exchange rate was S$1 = 2.313RM ) In sg the phone without line is 568. What a bargain huh? It was so hard to convince her that it was an opportune moment and that a phone purchased in msia could be used in Sg. Having a dad pun doesnt really help. By the time i convinced my lovely mother, we had to make a move already.
Pissed that the Maybank ATM had a freaking long bloody Queue and that mom's credit card was having some problem.
Moms being moms she let unneccessary paranoia set in. Like she suspected the guy took her credit card no. and photocopied her signature to later try and forge it and is going to use it to purchase stuff online. haha its funny how it sounds more like what a Singaporean would do rather than a Malaysian. So in the end withdrawed 1000RM from the ATM. You should have seen my mom gripping the twenty 50RM notes.

Well now i have to go work and cos i want to pay her back. I've saved $70 so far.

What ever happened to leaving links? haha

angell
"heys. im slow cos i just saw your blog today. mm. have fun in the hols. and i wun come up with the layout as yet. too much priorities. commitments. promises. and complications and violent objections for a starry layout. will miss you in the 2 months and dun give me a shock wit your hair again next sem please. =) lub you!
*blanks out. youre going to desaru? that's so not far."
>Hahah starry layout? You tag like we are gonna be locked away from each other. hahah Hey whats wrong with long messy hair? Ya desaru, paradise near home. Enjoy thy hols before thy has to go to school.

hazieee
"yesyes, take care of mommy. and hair please!! don't scare us all again! :P"
>Hahah you and angel the same. enjoy your hols ya.

imran
"concorde, copthorne grand, riverview are some of the hotels near zouk."
>Hey thanks for dropping by and the Info. :)

nas
"ehhh!!! desaru!! enjoy yeah. ­ yeah, we'd love to meet up again! i wont bother about dhaniah, the little twerp. sigh. to think she found an interest in saf instead. crazy bugger. hah hah. take care.. "
>hahaha what ever happened? haha kecoh. you take care to and have a safe trip back to sg. :D

Sue Hady
"hey..didnt noe u took bnf..dunoe wether its da same subject as i took..btw..out ou pure kponess wat course are u taking? n wat is this bnf thingy..is it basic nutrition in food..?"
>Lemme guess. You're from Applied Food science too? hahah Thats my course and BNF is Basic Nutrition and Food. (sama lah tuh) hehe.. Oh why dont you leave a link?

skazee
"cool."
The ocean breeze was cool. And so is my butt from facing the air con when i woke up. What "cool" refering to?!?!?! haha jk.

I dont have plans for my hols yet cept the shows. Get a temp job. Work on a tie and dye - so long never do. Also planning to do batik. Wanna lepaskan gian. haha. Talk about lepaskan gian, i think my headache could have arised from my dikir abstinence. So long neberrr shoutt shoutt so loudd loudd. Well im sorta part of a 3-man organisational boycott. Hahah.. So ya.. ard 4 weeks nebberr shooutt shooutt so loudd louudd.

Kelana Purba - Mega Perdana 2002. i think haha
"Genap tarikh malam ngajat sang rembulan~~""Wahai ngajat empat kerat kuat kan kaki bangsa kuuu~~"
(okay guys the player's not working. Too much uploads. haiyah.. gonna have to find another song)
9.27pm: Okay cancelled. Its gonna be Syariffah Alwiyah!!! beta ratu seluruh timur tengahhh~

I'm gonna upload the pics to my fotopages so look out for them there if you cant see them here.

Beeeeach.
Pahlawan Putih

harlo.. going off to desaru!!! bye! i wanna go swimming

Longs posts, long tags

Harlo guys. thanks for tagging. Recently, i've noticed an intermission in perhaps part of the blogging world. hmm.. Anyway, its weird to only see female taggers excluding me. What i dont appeal to everyone? hahah rhethorical, dont have to answer.

jas says
"hey. im feeling exactly the way u r feelin rite now. there's this big hole in my soul, n i feel im losing it. honestly, i havent felt this bad for almost 6 yrs, since i obeyed the faith. prayers are this secret letter we send to God. And his replies, through his providence. You take care. I hardly ever say these things. And yah, for once, its not a joke"
Irfan says
"He is who keeps me from truly being insane. People come and go but its He who stays. Im comforted by your words and i will take care. You take care too"

arni says
"*prayg for ur mum's health too* precisely why i kinda disagree with da 5workdayweek thingy and now with epms and all... dorang ingat kiter ni robot ker..."
Irfan says
"hahah Thanks. My mom is so upset that she wrote to the PM. I'm kinda already thinking twice about teaching as a career. Take care of your health too ya ;D"

nas says
"no ah.. someone keeps attacking me on my tagboard, one after another. :( who's this imran seh? he sounds so mat but the song is cute.. ah. i'm coming back on the 16th!!!"
Irfan says
"Hahah they're probably to chicken. A friend. 16th? oh ya ah.. april ready. hahah so fast. Can meet you and Safraz again? hahah we'll see ah :D."

The qiyammulail was kinda okay in a funny way. "Macam sleepover tapi kat masjid". I couldnt believe how annoying i was too helfi. We didnt sleep at all till after 4.30 but had to wake up for subuh again. I had mouth diarrhoea and was going on and on just to keep helfi awake. hahah. We had a mission we failed to accomplish. Anyway we slept in the office and was awaken by: "Sejak bila ada mayat dalam opis? Eh, ko tak sembahyangkan ke? Kau ni betol lah. EH! ada dua lah" Cik Nordin. I went back to shower and eat. Made the mistake of putting my head on a pillow. Didnt wake up for friday prayers. sigh. haha

The headache still haunting me. What to do ah? Wanna go neck massage arh.

Mom! wanna go massuese sama sama?
Pahlawan Putih

Housekeeping

Did some spiffying on my side bar. Rearranged links and format. Looks neater. And looks like im not the only one doing blog tidying up. heh

You know how i wish soul searching could be done on Yahoo? no lah just kidding.
Okay its 11.30 now and my eyes are failing on me. heh. I'm gonna leave for the mosquie in awhile. So exciting! hahah like kid.

Thurdays happens to be best TV watching days. I introduced my mom to Trigger Happy TV and i m glad she liked it. The laughter macam subtle and you can see that she's tired. Well she's been complaining about the 5 day week thing. Even though she's teaching morning session, she comes back in the late afternoon ard 5-6. Praying for her good health.
Oh today Jaka Tarub was finally vomitting blood, a common way characters in martial arts series get hurt. Got bored seeing only the bad guy/evil villians get injuries. hahahah

Does any of you know of a hotel beside or near zouk?
See we might be having a show there which i hear is hosting a 'grand' event. Very vague descriptions ah. haha.

More dates to remember:

10 April.
Geylang Serai's ??th Aniversary.
I dont know how many years but im sure its a lot cos the CC is quite old and i chanced upon some old photographs at the store the other time. Next time i go there i'll 'borrow' some of the pics for scaning and post them up here. Some are quite interesting...

17 and 18 march.
Problem based learning shit.

Jas. It means so much that you've told me that im not alone. :D Oh an now Sarah too.

The devil's asking me to go sleep on my bed.

I'm gonna sleep on the floor instead.
Pahlawan Putih

Armed and Fabulous.

4 teenagers. 4 examinations ended. 4 minutes after their paper. They decided to rock Tampines down to the GROUND!!! Okay maybe not ah. They went KFC for lunch of fried chicken and cheese drenched fries. Then one left the group and began a new chapter to the group. Then the Trio momentarily split up due to personal issues of one short sighted member. After a few minutes of seperation they were back together as a Trio. They then entered a hall where many of the finest hollywood stars have appeared at. The Trio felt so honoured they were treated with the most comfortable seats in the house. After the great show they broke apart and once again headed to different paths. Each individual destined for a solo career.

Macam cerita Destiny's Child pulak!

If your lost here's what happened. We finished our last paper, BNF, and so decided to go have lunch at KFC. The $3.95 meals were too iressitable to miss considering our small wallets, or rather the sizes of the notes we had on us. After that asmah left cos um.. cos she is the antisocial type hahaha. No lah she wanted to cut a record deal with BMG. So, three of us then headed to Cinema at Century square to go catch a movie. Its was between Spongebob and Miss Congeniality 2. However it wasnt a tough one cos Shaw Tampines doesnt have Spongebob. With around 40mins to spare, i went home first to get my glasses cos i didnt want to watch blurred Sandra Bullock (now you get the short sighted part? heh). Then went back and caught the movie and yadda yadda yadda....

The movie was entertaining considering i havent watched Miss Congeniality 1. I recomend if you wanna have a good laugh. Sandra's the bullocks i tell you... Okay im go for a D-briefing. hahaha.

Im making arrangments for my attendance to a qiyammulail. Darul ghufran's organising one tonight. Or tomorrow morning depending on how you look at it. With Helfi as companionship we are gonna ROCK Darul Ghufran TO THE GROUND!!! or we could just try very hard to keep our eyes opened 2am in the morning. The prayers would start at 4am so penuhkan saf and come down if your not doing anything.

I dont know whats up with the rock to the ground thing. hahah random insanity i guess. or is it randomly insane?

I still dont have many of my friends contact number. Guys if you reading, sms me your numbers. Uno dos tres Apoche.... HALLLO HALLLO.

Vertigo!!!
Pahlawan Putih.

Life becomes a dream



They say you'll receive a sign 40 days before your death

If its true i think i have 38 days left.
Not trying to scare or anything but its just really unexplainable. There's just so much in my mind now. I actually thought long and hard just now after my paper. I unintentionally digged up old memories. I found a few CDs. Songs usually have a memory attached to them which sometimes makes you flashback on the period of time you were constantly listening to it. But anyway i continued digging. I found shards of blood stained glass. I found knifes that stanked of betrayal and decit.
I went soul searching.
I checked my priorities.
I couldnt take it and so i bathed and left the house. I headed to the one place i could find peace, the mosque. i took my abolutions. I went into the prayer hall. I prayed for god's forgiveness. I prayed for light. I prayed for peace. i prayed for warmth.
I have not been a good person. nor a good muslim. nor a good son. nor a good brother. nor a good friend.
Opened the quran. Something i havent done for quite a while. I have always been slow at reading its verses no matter how much tutoring i got. Prefered to memorise. I however whispered the verses under my breath ashamed that i couldnt read the quran fluently. I was most ashamed i momentarily forgot the verse to end the act of reading a quran though it was just Sadakallah hul azim.
Told myself i need to get my priorities straighten out. Told myself i m not gonna die bearing grudges, hatred and other evils. From now on its working to a clean slate. Life is pointless if you keep thorns. Keep the blooms instead.

Thats out of my system.

Just the other day i accidentally met Abdillah by accident(hahaha). Anyway, things seem okay for him, currently looking for a full time job. Not gonna be actively involved in Dikir anymore he says. I seem to get nostalgic more these days. I was thinking of the time i first joined tumpat. He was like the big brother of East side guys even though he pretty much was physically small. haha. Bila takda duit, dia blanjakan makan kat Haig road. Man... What a waste to quit. Anyway many have left the scene of crime. Wish it was back to those times..

The BNF paper was okay to me. But hey, then again i have a knack at doing badly at papers i thought were manageble. Now you know why im afraid of overconfidence?

Browsing throught the cobwebbed(bedek sia) cds, i found a song i stopped listening to. You know how songs usually have a memory attached to them? Well this song reminded me of my sec 4 days two years back. No matter what, a song is nice if its nice. Imran - Safety -- the mood it brings is a good description of how i feel now.

Love is a many hurtful thing
with all the scandalous hoes, who knows
then if you want to survive
with the way you live your life
you're doomed
I pray for your safety
and then maybe we'll go on with our lives


If you had it in you
that you will soon be uncovered
by the other guys, all in their disguise
and make you realise
that If its good,
its my word.
Why you hurting for?
I simply showed concern
to see how long you could burn
you need a lil time
to make things right
work the fears
and hopes outside
when you're looking at it
eye to eye

I cannot simply let go
of the pact that we hold
for the life once you loved
but when you came into my life
so in love
now its all haunting me
surely you'll find what you've been waiting for
i cannot help if i dont know
maybe in your eyes
you see in my heart
all lies?
if you take another chance that I make
and rely on feelings that you fake
i did not know it will go wrong
jaded minds consuming you
i cannot take another breath, not knowing it is true
i'm not strong enough to fight you
i cannot be the one who's trying to do it
but if im not who knew you could do it
so if you did it, next time do it right.

Tak sabar:-O

Event: Pentas TP
Date: 29th April 2005
Time: To be confirmed
Venue: TP Audi 1

Event: Piala Khatulistiwa
Date: 28th May 2005
Time: To be confirmed
Venue: Ngee Ann Poly

Im contented with what i have. This is all i need. I'm might even forget about getting a new phone.

I havent been post much pictures as basically the camera's not with me anymore. sigh. i miss clicking.

Im hoping for the best. Now im not crazy crazy. I might be crazy but not crazy hallucinationg gila pagaal siow crazy. Im just not well i guess. But not medically. Spiritually maybe.

Im confusing myself. this post so many 'I's.
Pahlawan Put I h

Smiling again. :P

Call me a freeeek and slap me silly but i enjoyed the Maths Stats 2 paper. The excitment comparable to eating Japanese Pufferfish. Its delicious but one wrong bite and your dead. It was mostly delicious except the part i did a longwinded step to get MSE in one way ANOVA and dividing alpha by two. Sucky!!

Alhamdulillah. It was smart decision to spend a night on probability afterall. I shooting for a B but a pass would already make me happy. Two more papers and i can be free. I would be able to run across the beach and frolic along mimosa shrubs. Run till i fall and choke on the leash. The leash that's length is equivalent to 2 months. Yes thats all i have and i wanna make the best of it. I wanna work but i also wanna go venture somewhere like kelantan as a backpacker or something.. i got no cash ah..
Anyone venturing out of singapore and dont mind a poor ol'kid tagging along?
Get out of sg is all that i need. but come back lah.

The post would have been longer if it was not maghrib, if i didnt feel like bathing, if i didnt need to go to NTUC to get some supplies and if i didnt have BNF test tomorrow. Wish me luck laughter and long john sliver. Sorry, dah naik gila.

Up to my head with cholesterol!
Pahlawan Putih

The itch that never dies.

Goes quite well with the persistent headache that wont subside.

After losing much sleep i tried my best to take a nap. History repeated itself through unpleasantly warm sheets, pillows, failed attempts of shutting out the light and tossing and turning. Cant tell if its gonna happen again after this post. I took a muscle relaxing pill in hope i might have an easier transition to Lala land.

I have a feeling im being too negligent with regards to my next paper. I remember running in a desperate search for assistance and guidance last inute last semester. Thanks again kakak ya. Disconnected to Maths stats 1. Maths stats 2 is a whole different ball game. An easier one. Abit more confident but i would say there's also a risk of being too over confident. Just having qualms on the statements and conclusions i have to make with each outcome.
Maybe i should have spent time practicing my sums instead of watching Family Guy, Desperate Housewifes and Striperella back to back. Well whats done is done. (FYI: of the four, i have a crush on Bree)

Chatted quite a bit today with Helfi online. Most of the time we try to lash out our wittest sarcasms on each other. Its an entertaining escape. Constantly sindiring. haha.. sigh... why do conversations have to end.
Looks like our dear friend is taking up Nursing. I cant help but rub it in his face. Jururawat. "Nurse Helfi would be here to check on your heartbeat on a regular basis". Then after starring at the mirror, i realised i'd be a nutritionist (insyaallah) which isnt anymore masculine than being a nurse. sigh. "Madam Ong, you would have to stay away from seafood if you want have a chance to cradle your grandson. You cholestrol levels are too high." bleah

Hope im not scaring anyone. 65 visits only one tag? haha jk. Cant find the right words to express this degree of uncertainty in a unusual emotion that a climax is near. hmm... But again i hope its not wetting anyone's pants.

Fauziah has a blog and links me without me knowing. She says she didnt have the time to tell me. hahah.. Well we promised to doa-kan/ pray for each other's good health cause apparently she has an eye infection. She also told how paiseh if she were to go out.
Im feeling stupid cos awhile ago, while i was puffing up my pillows, i accidentally poked my left eye with my right thumb. My hand'a radar must have been malfunctioning. Now my left eye like want to burst.

"Scene 23 - Irfan trys to sleep. Take 5!"

Action!!!
Pahlawan Putih

Itch to type part II

Its like i have so much to tell and reveal about the true me because i theres this feeling that time is running out. Help. Im not suggesting i'm suicidal. I just dont know.. the end feels so near.. what should i do?

Bmic paper was a tough one. Minutes before the start i was informed of hints that i missed during lectures. How dumb. It was help though cos i was more mentally prepared. Anyway its over now and its like a beginning to the ends. Three more papers and im done.
Didnt sleep well last night. Lights out at 2am. Tossed and turned till 4am. Thinking alot about stuffs. And so goes the story of the guy who went to school half awake. or is it half asleep?

I could be pregnant. (You know that could never happen) I had an insatiable craving for mutton chop. Even dreamt about it. Mutton choopppp... Mom bought take-aways from the ex-al-ameen at pasar bulat(circular market?!?). Abit on the sweet side but nevertherless satisfying. Strips of mutton with blood red sauce and right mix of cucumber, tomatoes, fries, peas, and an egg. I want more red meat!! Thinking of cik Lah's sizzling beefsteak. To hell with chicken and fish. Viva Revoluuution...
Back to the pregnant thing. I m experiencing morning sickness in the late afternoons. Why do i think im pregnant?
*smacks own head

If you happen to be at Tampines ave 4 and hear "Genap tarikh malam ngajat sang rembulan..." Dont be alarmed. Its just me singing on my way home cycling happy as can be cos a paper is done for. Since the mishap with my handphone which was also my mp3 player, i have digged out my walkman and am playing old not forgotten songs. I enjoying singing till im positively breathless, cos im cycle at the same time, then laugh about it. Also laugh when i try to mimick Syariff sah during the high kelantan parts. *WAHAI NGAJAT EMPAT KERAT KUATKAN KAKI BANGSA KU~!~!" hahahha i m crazy. and i cant help it..

okay gonna take a nap for the lost sleep yesterday night/this morning. Chao

What happening to me?
Pulihlah Pahlawan Putih!

Itch to type

Caught today's Stage to Screen, Spoilt. Probably at the expense of my revision. Switched channels quite often as The Apprentice was also on. Back to Spoilt, watching it made want to produce something like it. Really hope i will eventually get a chance to make a short film or something. Maybe with a purchase of a video camera. Saying this, i m not sure whats ahead for me. Its like twisted paths and signs that dont make any sense. Cant tell the essentials from those that are dispensible.
However somethings you know for sure you simply cant live without. Well not literally but in a sense it's absence leaves a cavity in your soul. A hole in your heart. If i'd have to admit, it would be dikir. I just dont see myself not involved in dikir barat. Am not sure why...

I know something big is coming. Getting the vibes. Unexplainable. This feeling at the pit of your stomach? It does not seem pleasant.


Critics have been giving ***** (5 stars) for the refreshing change.

Hazel: "it's lk, more subdued but more creative. doesnt jump out at your eyes like the red grubbies and the blue boxerrrs."

Ja: "Cool new layout"

The Straights Times: "A parellel assemblage (of lines) not to be missed..."

The New Yolk Post: "linearly eggtastic..."

*Takes a bow.. I would like to thank my parents for giving me life and the large gene pool by being of different races and heritage. I thank them again cause without the genes, i'd wouldnt be as creative in designing critical nonsense. *Acts honoured.
Enough with the drama, i think i did a pretty swell job with the template considering i only use Irfanview and windows Paint. Yes windows paint. You could do it too. Anyway how this template came about was totally coincidental. My new profile pic to your right and the streamer filter. Not bad huh? Contrary to popular beliefs, i AM a narcissist. Hehehe

Question: Keagan Kang. Dier orang apa?? He doesnt look chinese, malay or indian. My fellow thick-eye-brow-brother. im not making sense and i blame it on the headache. Sometimes you get bored with the same actors/actresses. Dont you?

Just came out with a stupid phrase "CHADMAN SNAPS" - derived as an abbreviation to the factors influencing the Ideal Chemical Agents. Stupid Bmic. Anyhows i am far from finé or The End in realation to my Bmic revision. Some of this concepts are really new. Maybe i shouldnt have missed the lectures. Well cant help it if the lecturer is ineffective in exceptional lecturing. Curse thee Ms Sajini and thy stupid law background. muahahah

>< that close to insanity.. I think im typing too much already. But this fingers just wont stop.

Guys, i apologise. Forgive me for being blind. Positively sorry for having the recomended reads section. Generally i frequently visit all of my links. Though i dont tag doesnt mean i dont immerse myself in thy blogs. I think its just fair i remove the recomended reads thing cos i would recomend the rest of your blogs too. A blog is just a blog isnt it? whats the fuss? I recomend each and everyone of my links.

Gonna try and sleep right now get ready for a subuh-till-the-actual-paper-@-9am revision. Lets hope i dont go online with an itch to blog crap again in the morning.

I would like to take the opportunity to thank hazel for being online everytime im online. Without her, i wouldnt have known what the heck D-value was and many other stuff.

My graditude.
Pahlawan Putih

Studying at last!

Two mugs of soothingly hot sustagen. Two raw sticks of peeled carrots. Nelly Furtado on my radio. I have found the way to kick start revision when you got an annoying headache! What a breakthrough. I'm downloading past year papers which they affectionally call PEPO. Downloading PEPOs.

Gonna revise Basic Microbiology (Bmic) afterwards. Tomorrow's the paper. Im kinda nervous cos you'd never know what will come out. Basic Nutrition & Food (BNF) is a bitch. Its very extensive and un-basic.. more like indepth to a torturing extent. Been revising on vitamins and minerals. I thought maybe then i could understand whats up with me. Pssible that im deficient in an important nutrient i failed to consume. However most of the nutrients deficiency symptoms are nausea, vomitting, diarrhoea. So how do i know for sure?

Been drinking quite a whole lot of fluids. Been urinating alot to.. so should i continue drinking alot in hope i get well soon? I took my mom's advice on not thinking of the headache though its hard to understand.

Nelly Furtado's 'Whoa Nelly' and 'Folklore' has always been there when i needed to temporarily transform into workaholic. Onde stas.

I look the same before and after bathing. I think its the naps..
You may go eewww now cos its two something and i still havent showered. haha.. I woke up ard 11.20. Man.. okay okay gonna take a shower right i after i get my Food chem pepo done.

Note to self: PDF files aggravate headache.

Ewww.
Pahlawan Putih Pantang Pening

TEEEEEEEEEEEE VEEEEEEEEEEEE

The headache just wont go away. Dang. Watching the television isnt a remedy but i have been doing lots of it. Like a whole lot especially in the afternoons. I can imagine the addiction worsening. But anyway here's some programmes i find really entertaining..

Trigger Happy TV.
Thurdays 9.30pm on arts central, i think
A show playing with the human emotions. Its crazy basically. Look out for the guys in a Weiner and dalmation dog costume. The dalmation would beat up the weiner dog in public and like you go whats up seh.. haha Oh and the tempermental interviewer who beats up guys who disturb his shooting infront of the guest. theres much more nonsense but last one, a gardener who goes around talking to senior citizens at a park and tell them things like "I dont actually plant roses, i hit the gardener who does with this shovel and i buried him under his rose shrubs." hahah

Jaka Tarub / Jaka Tingkir
Indonesian martial arts serial. Lots of fighting just the way i like them. Sometimes can get boring cos they fight like in every meeting. Bad guys good guys. Both are different programmes but have their simmilarites like their bald obese side kicks. The paling lepak of all is when the female characters engage in a battle. They wear sarongs and fight. Yup it gets obscene but thats not all. They use stuntmen in the more difficult fights.. HAha its funny, you see the girl at first then at a different angle you see this guy wearing woman's clothes jumping around. hahah funny lah.

Cool indonesian reality TV.
Wang Kaget - Mr easy money, a man in a suit with big hat and fake thick side burns finds a poor person and gives him/her this amount of cash and he/she has can use the money to buy anything in 30mins. Help the poor, i like.
Theres also one where they go to a poor man's home and renovates it. some what like All Change.
Amusingly they have one with hidden cameras and tape children alone at home and what they do when strangers come knocking for something.
Ever heard powerpuff girls speak bahasa indonesia? hahah that tops it lah.

Stage to screen.
Sundays, on Arts central.
I caught the Ang Tau Mui one last sunday. Enjoyed the cinematography. Also like the story though i didnt get at first.

I think my degree is going up. Talking bout my eyes.

Yesterday i turned grey. really. i tried standing on my head but my face was still grey. Ended slaping myself.

Anyway.. new song to celebrate my manic depressive state. hahaha pagaal.

MACY GRAY - Relating To A Psychopath Lyrics
hot like hot wings with hot chocolate in hell
cold like in my isolation cell
in the winter
while kissing mr. freeze
take the weather man
and blow him away
love is a desert and i need it to rain
you are so good at keeping me company

you are relating to a psychopath
your role model is in therapy
you must be real far gone
you're relating to a psychopath

noah's elephants are leaving the ark in eights
during the upside of my manic depressive state
crickets sing in 3 part harmony
i try to walk away
i choke and i stumble
i'm flying back so listen close when i mumble
that you are so good at keeping me company

you are relating to a psychopath
your role model is in therapy
you must be real far gone
you're relating to a psychopath

it never adds up when you do your math
you're relating to a psychopath
yes i'm real far gone
you're relating to a psychopath

medication is slow
and it's when it kicks in
that my mind chooses to go
my feel better begins
just when i get attached
it ends
it's insane
so i remain a psycho

1 2 3 4

cartoon figures dance in my head
i said
love is butter won't you be my bread
you are so good at keeping me company

you are relating to a psychopath
your role model is in therapy
you must be real far gone
you're relating to a psychopath

it never adds up when you do your math
you're relating to a psychopath
yes i'm real far gone
you're relating to a psychopath

oh a psychopath

i am demented
my mind is bendin'
my brain is twisted
baby keep me company

you must be a psycho too
love is butter won't you be my bread
that's what i said
psychotic
psychosis
my manic depressive state is great
on the upside
it's the love side

love is butter won't you be my bread
did you hear what i said

AHHHH EXAMS IN TWO DAYS.

Hey guys thanks for your condolences. Fad: thanks for the url.. Checked it out, cool. Nas: he added me in friendster. I think he has some cool vocabulary. and the 'poeticness'

I dont think i can make it
I think im gonna bang my head on the wall now.. see ya

Taking care,
Pahlawan Putih

Upset like bear

I dunno how to feel. A trip to the Bedok Swimming Complex will never be the same again. I'd probably bring a padlock the next time i step there.
My HP has been stolen!
Dont bother calling or smsing. It upsets me coz i had such a hard time convincing my mom i'd take good care of the hp. Now its gone i dont really know what to do. I'd have to work my butt off during the hols if i want to get close to getting back a decent hp. Now where do i get a job. I suck... I know its retribution. Or is it. I know theres nothing more i can do to get the hp back thus i try not to be upset. But man... curse the guy who did it. May he/she never find peace of mind.
Today was our 3 month anniversary.. *sob* drama mama siak. Worst thing is the giddy spell is back and being frustrated doesnt help it go away.

If only my concentration was back to the exams.

Classified Recruit Section
Pahlawan Putih

In good company?

Reserved some me time yesterday night to go watch a movie. Been quite a while since i took the time to reward myself for nothing. heh. I dont understand why In good company got 4 out of 5 stars. The movie is neither there nor anywhere. Maybe cos its seems real and could possibly happen in real life. Then why make it a movie i ask? Movies are supposed to be filled with fiction, twists, tiring plots and surreal exageration. It wasnt funny, it wasnt fake. It wasnt good nor bad. Raises shoulders. To conclude, i look forward to watching Spongebob Square pants with my friends.
ghaha

I finally understand what Lucy from 50 first dates meant when she said "I cant believe bruce willis was a ghost." Yes i caught the movie the sixth sense on 5. Imagined it to be more..um.. frightening. I practically held my comforter in standby to cover my face. haha.. but it wasnt that scary. Overall its quite a good movie. Compared to most actors, Bruce willis is something huh?

Studied. I actually studied. Though it was barely sufficient at least i did. I dont usually study a week before examinations. I have revision today in school. Hope they wouldnt be a waste of time.

Been dreaming of going to a nice beach somewhere. Clear water, starfishes maybe, shore littered with seashells, cool sea breaze etc. I really need this trip. So anyone going somewhere with nice beach after good friday week do ask me along. Im going crazy here. Tioman or Redang or Maldives or something. hahaha.. Worst come to worst i'll settle for a nice secluded waterfall.

I remember vaguely this beach resort on east peninsula malaysia. The one storey 'hut's were far from 5 star but had aircon all that. Best part was this small island right across the beach. The 'person' said they could take us there for a picnic and snorkelling and what not. Ze izeland zeem zo peazeful. I want to go there! actually right after my exams i'll settle for anywhere, kelantan maybe?

OOOooooooo
Pahlawan Putih Pingin Pantai Permai

My papers..

Basic Microbiology
AMB1003
21 Mar 2005
09:30-12:30
IT05-05-14/15
31

Mathematics and Statistics 2
AMA1004
22 Mar 2005
09:30-12:30
IT05-05-14/15
27

Basic Nutrition and Food
ANT1002
23 Mar 2005
09:30-12:30
IT01-05-63/64
29

Food Chemistry
AFS1001
24 Mar 2005
09:30-12:30
IT05-05-14/15
25

pahlawan Putih

Hi guys

Im okay just this dizzyness wont leave me alone. Im practically sea sick. Went to the doctors yesterday. Low blood pressure. I dunno whats happening. Hope the pills works.

On to other things. Boredom has reached an unpresidented high. Record breaking. I even jokingly called my friends a bore and left them. hahah sorry again guys. There's just nothing to do!!! Nothing. Im gonna log off now and go watch somemore tv.

All you guys take care and enjoy the week ahead. I would be having my study week then my exams ending just before good friday. Yipee. Now important to study. Wont be updating much yeah?

Chao
Pahlawan Putih

A teeny bit better.

The fever seems to have gone. The runny nose quite managable. But i dunno... Not like 100% well you know. Supposed to go back to the clinic today to get a 2nd blood test but i was far too tired. reached home and laid flat on my back. Somethings weird's happening. Everything that i eat seems to be 2 times saltier that it is. everything. I wonder whats up with my system.

Whats up with doctors who dont listen to their patients? I couldnt be more sorrier i didnt have a fever there and then in the doctors room. Stoopeed arrrse.



Like the Crumpler budgie smuggler i now materialistically posses. Though its a sad reminder i dont have enough 'camera' to fill it up. hahahah.. Btw the first prize winner was a geeky visual comm student. Soo sucky. Anw. The exhibition had 20 photos on display. I owned a quarter of those in the exhibition. All execpt the pic of my cousin and the buffet spread one. The ranking has yet to be posted and the accumulated points are confidential so i cant really say which ones did well. They promised they would post it up so i'll update then.

I got 2 lab tests tommorow. ooo... scary.

More apathetic then ever.
Pahlawan Putih

Wa' duuuh

Still sick. Still warm and cold. Still panadoling. Still watching Indonesian channels. Its funny how i have subconciously aquire the 'R' skill. Well indonesians have a tendency to stress on their 'R's. Helfi noticed it in one of our conversations. RRRrrrebana. I find Bahasa indon funny most of the times. Like addressing yourself as 'Gue' and the other party and 'Lu', 'space' = 'spasi' while in malay its 'jarak'. Oh and its like they got thousands of dangdut singers who all sound alike and place greater importance in shaking their booty. However with Tamara Blszensky it cancels it all out. Puteri Cantik, puteri cantik...

Thanks for the congratulation wishes kakak ya, kelkatu, nas and sUeHaDy. Sure will update on the 'better' pics.

Infant? haha.. Not something new. Ada yang pronounce as Infront. lagi best Erfun. Well asal bisa tegal biasa. kekek

Irfan's Karangunites? hahah i was too sick too lead.

Headache? Well take care yeah. Maybe there was a psychic transfer of headache from me or jas.

Oh ya. I have decided not to apply for NAFA after all. Maybe winning, even though 3rd, proves that i can still keep art as a side dish and be good with it. I shall continue clicking with the Nikon 3700.

Fsn kemama, ole ole ah ah
Pahlawan Putih

Yeah, yeah, yeah..

Handphone vibrates, display light flickering on and off.
Me: Hello.
Unknown: Hello is this Irfan?
Me: Yup
Unknown: Hi im Bernard Aw Co-Organiser of Click photo competition. Congratulations. You won the third prize...
(gave details etc)
I was dancing for a while.

They also sent me an email.

Hi Infan,

Congratulations for winning the third prize at CLICK! Photo
Competition 2005. We will like to invite you to attend the prize
ceremony held at Library Level 3, Podium on 7 March 2005 (Monday).

Please arrive at 1130h in long pants/jeans, shoes and a sleeved top.
We had applied Leave of Absence (LOA) for you. Please approach us
after the event to collect a copy of the LOA should you need it.

You will be receiving a certificate and the 3rd prize from
SAA Deputy Director Raymond Teo during the event.

The Event Programme is as follows:

1130 - Arrival of Prize Winners
1200 - Arrival of GOH
1210 - Performance by Guitar Ensemble
1240 - Prize Ceremony
1300 - Viewing of Photo Exhibition

Kindly reply to this email to confirm your attendance. You have to
attend the ceremony to collect your prize.
--
Co-Organiser
CLICK! Photo Competition 2005

Yes they misspelled my name. haiyah. Anyway Im excited, shocked and happy. haha okay ya. Really wasnt expected. The prize? A crumpler camera pouch. Haiyah.. I would have loved the 1st prize. Nonetheless i m thankful it paid off. "One or more" of my works are first place and im sitting here wondering which ones.

Had a compulsory community service thing today. I unintendedly woke up at 2am, then again at 6am. So hot i had to check myself out. I digged out the thermometer i got for free in sec school. A whooping 38.8 degrees celcius. In disbelief i headed off to the toilet and let the freezing tap water run all over my body in hope it would bring the temp down. Woah! I turned purple lah! Looked at myself through the mirror, then slapping myself to get back the blood flowing.
After napping awhile at the couch -my room was too cold- i made my way to school. Had to take panadol for children as the normal ones dah finish. All the way to the busstop i was klutzy like head spinning and all. At school i was still warm and headachey.

Both sick and high on drugs. Paracetamol and cough syrup. Thats how sick i looked.

Charlie's Karangunites. The blok we had to collect newspapers from.

The aunty with lots of magazines. I-cho-kan...

Jas was making fun of how i should collect newspapers to get better. My temp dropped to normal after the whole thing.

Now playing: Serabut Perut By Megat Nordin. My idol in a non-religious way.. What a voice.

PUB can tap my nose as a new source of water. Running non stop.

Im sick but happy.
Pahlawan Purple

My eyes feel like they wanna pop out. Im still coughing. Still at the interface of hot and cold.. *Coughs. Ouch.

Well fever doesnt stop me from having a little fun.


Mr kok. Orange ink on paper.. Life sciences lab instructor. He has a habit of saying K. usually people go um but he goes kay, kay, kay.

Everytime i cough my head spins. Like jet lag.

Any fever remedies guys?
Pahlawan Putih

FEVER, in the morning Fever all through the night...

I should be getting a fever, soon. Its those times when your body cant decide to be hot or cold. Started yesterday morning, Maybe even on last friday. My throat hurts like as if someone shoved and sandpapered it. Weirdest event would be now. Suddenly woke up at 5.30. And i dont feel like getting back to bed so ya. Wanna pop some panadols but i havent eat and i dont feel like eating. Maybe coz i feel like puking. Pray that i dont fall sick like the last time where i couldnt walk without feeling drowsy. Maybe its retribution for not attending Friday prayer last friday. I was seriously woozy.

Well yesterday there was tryouts for Pentas, a TP malay arts group annual event. Tryouts for juara karut. When i got a msg from mamat, i freaked out kejap. 2 seconds? okay maybe for a minute i stared at the msg with my mouth open. No lah where got. [anw] Then i was coughing out all my phelgm lah, make warm tamarind water [Air asam] with honey, practice in the toilet, lift, my room. Kancheongy. I dont think i can sing well. But i would not let an opportunity go off. Try to sing a song and savor it as msch as possible. What they call "hayati lagu", ye.

Dunno why but i sang a panjy number. 'Si ayam mengamuk..' My throat shaky then coz duh, nervousilly. The feedback was essential so i had to ask. Haha. Lengok fake. I have a rough idea what to what it means. But plus part, my voice is okay and i may get a character in the production. Maybe only a sidekick like Hang Lekiu or Hang Kasturi but im fine with that. Aku bukannya idan taal ke wan zali, im happy nonetheless. 'Anak merajuk perut kosong tak berisi'.

Nooooooooooo.... im warming up again. getting drowsier. im gonna eat something so i can panadol myself. haha panadol as verb.. what next?

Am i hot or cold?
Pahlawan Putih Pinta Pulih

Curried brown rice with fish fillets.


Hungry like bear, i cooked up a dish even i was suprised to have invented. Well inspired by a J oliver dish. Easy to make and it tasted great with mustard seeds, ginger, garlic, lime leaves, lemon grass, curry power [powder] etc etc. Cant go wrong with indian spices i say. [the hungry like bear thing on purpose. Donch feel like impressing anyone by being aritculate] My mom upset seh. haha funny. While i busy messing up the kitchen in the afternoon she snooped around for a while. At night she went something like "Why should i supply you when i dont even get to taste it". I sorry mommaji. It was too delicious i was licking the plate. Next time.

Still wondering if it would be worth it to join NAFA. Registration fee $20 and im not confirmed a spot. Shoot. Nevertheless im registering ah..
Quite confused. I dunno if i like my current course anymore or not. Sheesh lewis.

Okay.. Somebody's annoying me to the last strand of eyebrow hair. YOU AHRE SO FREAKING ANNOYING. Its out of the bag but i dont think you'll know that its you. You are just so superficial and annoying to the core basically. Wringing your neck would make my day. Stop it man. Before i shout at your face. You would be able to take it then.
Im just asking for some alone time.

I feel like punching someone!

Ingin ku tikam mu dengan keris kemarahan,
Pahlawan Putih