Apologies for the sloppy entry. I re-edited.

Destination: Jeddah via Kuwait.
Date: 3rd June Thursday
Time of departure: o3oohrs

We'd be spending a about 3 days in total in Kuwait and Jeddah [Waiting basically. Before Medinah and after Mecca] Woohoo. Jeddah's over run by Philipinos. Its a twisted place there the last time i visited. They even have Jolli Bee the Philipino fast food restaurant. Kuwait would be eye opener and we were supposed to get a tour but it was cancelled. Back to the aim of the trip. Sad we'd only be spending like about two nights and only one full day in Medinah. Love that place. The masjid really.. how so i put it..enchanting. Especially at night. 7 days in Mecca. After all the movies, i really wanna depict myself as a desperate parent with a child crying of thirst running from one hill to another in the hot scorcing sun when i do Sa'i. However the whole area already covered and air conditioned. i'll just have to imagine. Ouh ya. Hajar Aswad. Gonna kiss it Insya Allah. I still havent fully packed. =P

Watched Troy on Monday. Last minute. I was thining that after the trip i dont think Troy would be played anymore. It was Brilliant. Fighting Scenes on par or even better than Lord of the Rings and Last Samurai. Highight would be the Hector Achilles duel. Great mun. However very ironic huh? Achilles went to Troy for Name. I bet Brad Pitt played the role for name too. Ensuring he would be remembered. Well my thoughts. The role certainly is an impressionable one. Immortal-like. Woo hoo. Then i realised that great movies are simmilar to dreams. It must posess the ability to carry you to a different time and get you rooting for your favourite characters or even leave you imagining yourself in the movie itself. Yup thats it.

This should be my last post for a few weeks.

Why did you rekindled this flame i have for you?
Pahlawan Putih.

After watching Malcom in the middle where Dewy danced to this song alone at home, had to make it my background song. Hahah..
Here's Papa Loves Mambo..

Indahnya Budi Tiada Bandingan,
Cantik Bahasa Tiada Ukuran,
Budi Mulia Menjadi Sebuatan,
Akan Dikenang-kenang...
-Ipin Ana

I feel strongly that dikir kelantan songs are the paradigm of flattery. The song above is just one of many. Another well-known one would be Dewi Menjelma. Almost equivilante in existent are heart break songs. Colourful..

Tumpat's gonna use that song since its the one we/they are most comfortable with. [I "/they" since i wont be playing. Haha] Dapi just got to know yesterday that I cant participate. He said "Aku hampa". He sighs everytime after informing the schedule of trainings then glancing at me. Wahaha. Flattered abis.

The whole of yesterday, Friday, 28th May, i wore a pair of orange briefs. *Bangga* Seluar dalam Jingga. Hahaha. Orange is certainly a colour i've began to appreciate. So why not huh? hahaaha.. baru beli from the John Little sale. = P

I know someone who inevitably makes me smile. Hahaha...As if you guys care.

You guys know the song from Lagaan. The one where the girl gets jealous. The lyrics go something like "Why is Radha jealous?". The girl is takes the part of the goddess in the song. I've recently only downloaded it. Best. Radha Kaise Na Jale. Who can forget Chale Chalo? Chale Chalo Chale Chalo...

I borrowed another book suggested by Nas. All Families Are Psychotic. Interesting so far. True to its title. 0_o I feel like i belong in the book. Wahaha. [laughter fades away after realisation...]

How to exercise when you dont usually? How to refrain from unhealthy food when you usually dont?

Mr J. Oliver has a blog! sort of anyway. He sold his Scooter for charity. Daisy and Poppy are his childrens name. Poppy for a name, cool.
When i get married, i'll get to name the boys and my wife the girls. Fair tak? I'm counting on my father dominant male offspring genes. Hahaha..mainly coz Grandfather has no daugther but all sons and my Dad only has one daughter of the six. The names all would be one liners. Example Amir bin Irfan. Simple huh? No Danish Basils or what. Next post i publish the list. hahaha.
*Names depend on race of wife and all must have the vowel "I"

Dear readers. Sorry. Hop from one subject to another. You know, tides do go have their high and lows. Duh. Tgh ~High~ Wahaha. Dunno why all the sudden happy. Must be the person i talked bout earlier.

Fabricated Bitterness, Natural Sweetness. [Muke sardein],
Pahlawan Putih

Dear Blog,

I feel so refreshed now. Momentarily i stopped sulking and sighing. I went for a cycling frenzy again. Passed by Simei first then covered the whole of Tampines. The air was exceptionally misty after the afternoon rain, that poured like it was in December. Gusts of wind were cool enough to reveal goosebumps of the aimless wanderer. The street lights added to the eerieness of the pathways as the trees casted dark shadows for the imagination to wander. At the outskirts of the towns, grass grew tall and thick while branches from mango trees droop low ensuring every cycler lowers his head to pass by. Puddles of murky rainwater, waiting for the sun to dry and disappear, would splash twice as the bicycle wheels run across them. Various intoxicating scents from the surrounding vegetation hastly alerted the brain of taboo. Taboo was also hastly identified when passing by frangipani trees. However it was exhilarating not to mention healthy. Some of the slopes were more than i bargained for. Time passed so fast that 2hrs used without realisation. Definately time well spent searching for peace of mind. WooHoo!

Lets do it again huh? Me and muh YELLOW bike. [its in terrible shape anyway.]
So next time if you see a guy on a yellow bike whizzing around Tampines singing Chaiyya Chaiyya, you'd know its me.

Argh! I dont know if you are refering to me. I kinda miss you alot. Wished we never distant from each other. Muh arms are always opened.

Everytime i see a lily an image appears in my mind. Everytime i feel a breeze there's a spark in my head. Everytime before i shut my eyes i'd worry bout you. Which step of mine ignited your withdrawal? Smile,Frown and smile again.

I wonder how other 1987 babies who are waiting for poly, are coping with boredom. You guys drink jamu or something? [Jamu vs Jemu]

Sincerely,
Pah-la-wan Pu-tih

Awangan.

I feel like nailing a swing to the clouds. The motion and the height of the rope swing could just cure me from this unclassified sickness. I'd be standing erect on the knot made on the rope watching sunrises and sunsets. I would also scan the horizon full of hope and faith. Maybe grow all lonely but then again... whats the difference now? After the shards of a broken existence has been placed together to reveal the truth, i might just loosen my grip on the rope and let what happen... happen...

I keep forgetting what i wanna blog.

On Sunday, we crashed Cik Tipah's house for Mee Soto and Family. Ouh, there was Pengat Durian [Fuhh..Makan dengan roti.]. You guys should hear how Ilhan laughs or tries to laugh. Tries too hard. Haha. Cik Rafi was there and he said: "Irfan write this down. Boleh buat novel. Lepas tu buat 30 part movie series" Refering sarcasticly to family ups and downs. Haha. A 30 part series should be the only sufficient to document a mother, 13 children, +-50 grandchildren and +-10 great grandchildren. Also the big family is blessed with all sorts of weird characteristics [Great weirdness and Bad weirdness.] Sigh...guess if people are just left alone sometimes, situation improves.

Monday was another weird day. Sigh. Lets not do it again huh? Aku penat tunggu.

Tuesday. +-30mins ago.
Strangely enough i went for the Food Hygiene course organised by NEA [National Environmental Agency] even though i'm no longer with Burger King. Nadia asked me to tag along anyway. WTF rite? Nothing to do anyway. It was very much an anyway situation. The food course as expected very "Goody-goody". Alot like Civics and Moral Ed. 20 stupid Qns for a blardy cert. Fu*k the place was at Tannery Lane all the way in hard to reach Kallang Pudding Road. Afterward we headed to BK changi airport for nurishment.
Funny on the day i fasted from cooked food. [Want to lose the tire around my waist. Well i tried anw.] I ate a pear and two fragrant pears. PEARS.
Irfan's will power was weak [since he procastinates to excercise it] and so he cooked an omellete with heaps of cheddar chesse and butter accompanied with rice flooded with kuah lemak and fried chicken piece. Ko banyak nafsu Irfan.

Tomorrow's another day. Ouw my arms pounding again. The price to pay.

Brought to you by the new Coke Light with Lemon
Pahlawan Putih.

Hai.

Hey Kelkatu sorry bout the Kelana Family thing. After reading your blog cam terasa. hehe maap ye. I was just day dreaming how the groups would perform. Not in anyway doubting them doing asli. So my apologies to all who are offended. Ya i heard the 2 non malay people thing was for the sponsorship of the prize money and the location for the Finals. Heard there was a HUGE argument at the Majlis taklimat. They could be scrap-ing it right? Also heard some vague bits like songs have to be by Aripin Ana and another kelatan singer. Unfortunately Tumpat is more cenderung to Megat Nordin [Suara...] Then i dunno. haha.

My dad cleared the crap from the Computer. So its like starting a new. Lost all the previous Kazaa media files [lagu dikir semua] and favourites list [i had things like SBS guide, yellow pages]. Msn Messenger pun old fashionnyer. Tak leh pakai lagi ader. Depressed just thinking bout customizing every back again. I considered not blogging again. Haha. No friendster. No blog. No online shackles. No need to check evertime.

Random thoughts. : Aku nak mandi hujan. Mandi laut. Mandi cowboy. Aku nak makan Mee Siam. Makan Tom Yam. Makan limau. Makan Angin. Aku nak minum susu strawberry. Minum coke. Minum chendol sejok. Aku nak bekata. Nak berbincang. Nak pekik Aku nak terbang. Nak berlayar. Nak berjalan. Tetapi, Apa yang menahan ku? Sigh.

Tajaan ICI Dulux dan Lumberjacks Jeans,
Pahlawan Putih

Argh!
hahaha
Wheeee
BOO
Hey!
Oit
Woohoo

Just found out more about Mega Perdana 2004. Yesterday was the taklimat. I was supposed to go but... Anyway, the syarat syarats kinda weird. Concept has to be Asli ala Singapura. Woohoo. Tumpat has a really big chance to enter semi finals [insya allah] However i heard most contemporary groups back out [For one Makyong Kedek wont be playing] After Umrah kan participate![insya allah]
The next term really weird. They want 2 people not of the malay race to be participating in each group. Maner nak cari seh?

Wonder why the higher authorities want the Mega Perdana to be in this manner. Favouring us somehow. I wonder if groups like Anak Seni, Puteri, Kelana Family all playing... Ulan, Chingx3 should be playing ah.

K gtg
Pahlawanas Putihs

I considered dropping it all to become a paparazzi. But then, i suck and dont have sufficient funds for equipment. Stupid pen camera.

Kajol

Mr Bachan and Kajol

Mr Oberoi

Mr Roshan on the extreme left.

Stupid blurred pics. Story like this. After an exceptional afternoon nap, i checked my msgs to find one from Nadia. She said she waiting at the Red carpet at Shaw House. Damn! i thought what a waste not to catch the Bollywood stars when they're here. Then again I might late already since it was 5 approaching 6 [Nadia was there from 3]. When i came, according to Nadia, i missed only someone by the name of Esha.[Maner aku tau dia siapa?] Then after that came Mr Oberoi, Mr Roshan then Kajol! Bloody battery went flat when Rani Mukerjee [HOT] arrived. Run around to get over priced batteries. [The man peeled the price tag infront of my face. Wtf] Then Preity Zinta came. She walked too fast to capture. Sigh. Then Dah. Hahaha Balik. There goes my hindustani paparazzi dreams. Waahah *Choke* [Btw All the Mr thing is coz i dont really know how to spell their name. Yeah.]

Argh.
Argh.
Argh.
Argh.
Everytime i look down.
Argh.
Its like firm/tough rubbery pudding.
Its growing.
Its vulgar somehow. Hahaha.
Its true that home provides a condusive environment for it to expand.
Not only my belly getting more belly-like, my cheeks chubbier.
Hai.
So much for swimming, badminton.
Dont even cycle anymore.
Hai..
Boredom sets in so much now that i am ready for bunjee jumping or sky-diving - to get that blood back in my brain.
Sigh.
Lack of excercise also increases sighing tendencies.
Sigh..

Sigh...
Pahlawan Penat. [As in restless]

Haiyah.

Cant help with the apekness cum nyonyaness. Dont mind hor!

All set out to play badminton but it was windy. Just my luck. Theraputic talking to Shidah though. The price was a huge Mostiqo bite. [Yup mostiqo.] Ay You bette like your presenn horr, if not i hantam u den u noe [Couldnt help it]

Many things blending in my mind. Here are some:

-Alai [Izzad] wants to drop art. According to him his teacher is the unsupportive type. After an A2 for N-level he should realy consider. He does wax carving [cool huh? nak try jugak] The theme he wants to go with is "Scooter." He wants me to help him get an idea and develop the theme. Been sketching and mostly doodling. Any ideas guys?
[BTW: Changed my dream car to dream scooter. Something like J Oliver's with bicycle-like handles. Zoom around. Woohooo]

-[Sorry to bore again and again] Mega Perdana. Lyrics. Cara permainan. Lagu. Ragam.

-Confused. Should i have disturbed and butted in? I expected, like ashes of the emotional explosion, blown away. Sigh.

-Should i go swimming or get psychariatic help?
[This dilemma twisted/blended habis habisan.]

Terbayang Memori Kisah Yang Lalu...
Pawalhan Piuth

Oit!

Graffiti.net must be down mun. The pics being hosted there not shown. Its okay furr now.

Somebody called me 5 times. Unconcious, I left it ringing away. Cant trace back since it was a private number. I'm having hunches on who it is. Could be her. Could be him. Maner lah aku tau?

One of my "Mystery Caller" hunches is Nastssia. Last time we spoke, she asked for my number incase she want to contact me when she in Singapore. Throughout the weekend i dont see her online and she did not add entries to her blog either. So perhaps she id in Singapore.
Ataupun....
It could be Helfi. He still has yet to pass me the 2D CD. Syariffah Alwiyah! He could be calling from the masjid though

Happy Birthday again Shidah. Sorry beb tak call. Tadi Malu malu kuching agaknyer. Dont worry I got you a gift already. Merged heads with Sarah and we went hunting. Somewhat we proud ah. Hahah. See ya on Wednesday.

Just when i missed him. Ilhan lah sedare aku. Who you think it was? Heh Cik Tipah, Uncle Bakar, Cik Norli & family dropped by yesterday. Ilhan's into cleaning and placing toys back. Wahaha
i doubt so.

MP24...sigh. Maybe semi-finals?

From violetta's blog

Flipside : Bedouin Groove
When: 11 Jun 2004 (Fri), 7.30 PM - 13 Jun 2004 (Sun), 8.45 PM
at the Outdoor Theatre, Esplanade

Modern funk with ancient grooves straight from the desert sands. The guitar, bass, and drums provide the modern backbone for Bedouin Groove, while the darbuka, oud, and violin spice up the expression with exotic tunes and traditional Middle Eastern music.
-------------------------------------------------------
Sounds really damn interesting. Hamba nak pergi! But hey, I m going to the Middle eastern desert sands anyway rite?

Haiyah. How leh?
Pahlawant *Singh* Putiht

Its been 4 days already.

;p.
Nastassia had been online all the way from Canada. All the while fun having a conversation. However as you would know, conversation sometimes do come to a standstill. You just dont know what to say. I know it'd be stupid to expect her to be online always. No Expectations at all. Also, dont want to be used to her online since she's there to study and i would not like to bother her when she's in the midst of something. I apologise again if i bothered you -_-*. Hehe. Now lines are drawn. I know my limits and i'm glad she cleared it up. "my childhood love and first friend in primary school that i made". Lets keep it that way huh? Remember to invite me to your wedding [Lagi lama kan? haha]

Browsing through My Music Folder, i found a Kelana Purba Mega Perdana 2000 file I didnt know i had. You know the...
EWA! Andai Dapatku Putarkan Masa...
So on. Hahah..I enjoy the EWA part. hahah [Suke pekiknyer pasal]

Kakak Kirah. Hahah I really meant it. Tak bedek. And definately not just because we're cousins.

Still kinda down i dont get to participate in Mega Perdana 2004. Been waiting like what sia. Haiyah. Wasted wasted. And it seems like this is the only comp Tumpat is gonna really train hard and be serious. Haiyah. Next 2 years if i am still in it.

Shit i forgot its Friday again! I'm late i'm late
Pahlawanas Putihs

Wasnt trying to be cocky. hehehe. I think..

50 First Dates was awesome. Great Storyline. Evident chemistry between Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. Truth be told, I am looking out for a girl who like Lilies. It tells a lot about their character. I cant put my hands on it yet but there's something about them.

Thanks to Kakak Ya, I managed to scan pictures during my childhood days. This picture is one of the few significance of my nickname and URL at blogspot.

Yup I was reincarnated from a goat. Are goats horny by the way?
Wahaha My Kambing Akikah. But weird picture huh?

Want to go play badminton, cycle and swimming [not simultaneously]. All I did was stay at home hooked to the rusty barbed chain of the TV. If not I'm at my room reading Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climate. Want to paint something. Instead I spent about a quarter of the time I'm conscious online. If only I could find a way to clean my blood from procastination tendencies. Wahaha...

Here's my P1 class photo.

First Row at the left end. Thats me. 2nd row, 3rd from the left. Thats Nastassia. Helmi' 1st row 2nd from the right. Cant remember the other names. haha.

Nafrikid
Pahlawan Putih

A recent chat with Rohasliza reminded me that P5 i was in the same malay class as Nastassia. Weird huh? Ingat P1 before P5. Anyway, I realised i dont contact my friends from Primary school when i'm in Secondary School. With a few exceptions like Benny Iskandar [and gang. Same school as me] -haha.. The smarter ones which i have mingled with, i was in em1 before, i lost all contact. Even close friends like Helmi, Fauzie, Amiruddin [the Pahlawan Putih group.] When i met Helmi on friendster it seems odd pasal dah lamer tak berbual. I suspected a few reasons why.

My terrible PSLE grades. Well not all that terrible ah. The worst part would be the secondary school i was posted to. East Spring Secondary. [i still blame my mom for that option even though it's the 6th. Blardy. Get all worked up when i think about it again.] Naturally i felt left out and shite. My Primary 6 classmates [Den and Iman] got in to "good schools" [Dunman and Ngee Ann respectively] and so did most of my p5 friends. I would say i got much of my insanity from people like Den but after entering DSS hidung tinggi mencakar langit. During in Secondary School was only when i learnt to enjoy learning. [Its really fun. heh] My grades gradually improved and i say i did well for my o's even with all the influence that was around me [expected like to repeat or somthng]. Then i realise it's pretty darn intimidating that most of my mentioned friends went to JC. I know it doesnt mean anything but still it's intimidating. Then it hit me i have always been pertengahan. Middle. In between. Seriously, i think i could have made it to RJC if i wanted to. Of after PSLE i go in to those "good schools". The only thing that voided this option is my involvement with those of higher academic grades and lower ones too. Benny's not smart but he has always been the good friend. Helmi is smart but we still acted our age during Primary school years. With the odd combination of friends, i tend to stay in the centre in terms of acheivement. It was came to be unhealthy when i had few/no Malay friends who were the smart types[been in a neighbourhood school]. I improved my grades and got through my Os with suspended in mid air colours[not flying definately]..And Shidah..how can you say overall you topped? No offence but overall only the o levels matter.

So in clonclusion, i could have been the smart guy who was in a good school, member of debate club, searching, compiling, modifying then memorising main points on the the topic "Under the claws of the Media" and when you see me , i'll be buried deep in a book. Or i could have sent my jeans for tapering, dyed my hair with streaks of orangeness, pierce here pierce there, lepak bawa blok main gitar satu hari, get involved with gangster politics and complain about life and the people involved with it. Hai...I took the neutral stand. hehe... Still it's sad - Malay C6 hahahahahah Liza suggested we all do a TPS Malay Pupils Reunion[Made the title up] for our year. Well it' d be a whole lot of preparation indeed. Tengok lah..
I could have gone to meridian JC and tried to be happy even though i know that it was the most easy JC to go into yet.
Now i'm stuck with a stupid course. I dunno what to do already. I guess i should heed ustaz's advice and start planning.

Long awaited Mega Perdana's back. Too bad the saringan date falls on the date i return from Umrah. Next time [two years] maybe.

Enjoys nostalgia [and a name that rhymes with it hehe..],
Pahlawan Putih

Hey Nassie.

Elusive. Tried to be online just now but there was a electricity shut down excersie [buat aper tah]. Dang. I guess in that period you dropped by. Looking forward to an online chat. 92968770

Oliver's twist. 1130 am Weekdays. Jamie oliver's cooking style is informal and simple. He brings hipness into cooking. In the show you would see him running around the kitchen grabbing ingredients from different places while most cook shows already have the ingredients laid out proportionally to their use in small dishes. [Well most cook shows are boring.] Even though mint leafs and rosemary are rare herbs in asian kitchens, they still are easily available unlike thing like truffles and thoese expensive things. I wanna get kitchen like his so i can run around all day maybe just to cook an egg. [also i can act like i have my own cooking show] End product of the dishes [though simple] are very appetizing. Heh. Chemistry is best if it happens in the kitchen. [I enjoy chemistry btw. And biology for that matter.]
After the great show comes the disaster asian[oriental] style. [They say all good things come to an end.] Martin Yan' Chinatown. Stupid show. Martin Yan talks nonsense most of the time. His english spins around cliched lines like
"Awww this is so beautiful" "Look at this, isnt it wonderful" in his chinese accent. More disturbing is his need to say what he is doing repeatedly. Like eg his silcing a vegetable and so he goes: "And you slice it like this and you slice, slice, slice, slice. Also his cooking is very "templatised". Salt, Pepper, osyter sauce, fish sauce, soy sauce, rice wine, broth and corn starch soulution. All that for all the dishes. So to have a Martin Yan dish just chop a few "colour contrasting" vegetables [thats the way he puts it] meat of you choice and the above seasoning. [Tada!] Viewers probably can skip the show to cook his kind of dishes. I guess his only highlight for all the past shows would be when he adds wine to the hot pan and it goes all flammbe. His culinary skills are awesome but tak selera ah tengok apa dier dah masak.
From here i learn to critise and shun my mom's cooking. Wahaha..but i still eat it though. Thankfully she at least bother to cook. haha. Then there's leftover day and instant food day. Sigh. heh.

My Pahlawan Putih T-shirt is ready. I think it's nice arh but now ashamed to wear it in public. hehehe. I think i'll still wear it anyways. $20. Probably wont be working for a long time. hehe. Everytime i flip to the Recruit section my back becomes lembek. The symptoms of sloth. Imagining the job itself and the hours i have to work paralyses my limbs. [Well maybe a wee too exalted]

Failed to blog earlier since i didnt sadar hari Jumaat. There's just something bout being in a mosque. It's very peaceful and there'd be a blanket of security wrapped around you. And if you really get in to the zone, the worries that have encrusted in your mind just melt away. Ah...

Peeple of zee wurl, Relax. Hehe..
Pahlawan Putih

The plot thickens...[drama. haha.]

Yay. Nastassia responded to my friendster request and decide to drop by. Heheh...You guys should know how i feel. Awkward. Embarassed. Paisey[Yeah]. A testimonial as a cumbersome apology. Now i dunno. How? Hehe. I had big brown eyes then? Sure? Well they are very much oriental looking right now. Thanks for replying!! :D Like a bag of assorted nuts my feelings have gone haywire. Yup a decade. I liked you alot but i cant tell why. Over the years the nostalgic memories played inside my mind. Only recently i started the quest to find you. Why? I guess it's because I could only picture being happy with you. I would very much like to meet you again before you leave for Canada once more. At the airport maybe?
Very coincidental. I decided to look for any Tom Robbin book from the library since Nas wrote in her profile. Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates. The only one they had at Tampines Library. Read it for almost 3 hours there then i went on home before meeting my friend. The book's great so far. Then when i log in to my pc 12 in the night, i received 5 emails. Knew it. Hehe...Now i cant wait for you to be awake on Msn. Btw Cool website..

There's this peace in the picturesque setting when i imagine we're together.The missing piece. The sense of completeness. The "No matter what" feeling. The i forget about the world when i think of you emotion. Heh. Why? Really no clue. Mungkin kerana ia tiada syarat atau batasan.

Awww man. No, no...
Too bad for me..Just too bad...
Pahlawan Putih

Yay!...[fake]

Shidah finally got into Temasek Poly. Really happy for you. "Then the bad news..." my application was unsuccessful. I am being rejected to many times for me to tolerate. First it was NAFA, then i didnt get the course i wanted, appealed unsuccessful, now DAE [direct admission excercise]. Bloody. Too many for a teenager to handle and can still be smiling at the end of the day. This makes me regret not going to JC. Well i'll blame my parents for that. Now, applied food science would have to do. Sigh.. Apa gunanya result bagus tapi tak boleh masuk course yang diidamkan.
After receiving pay i only left with $120. Spent half in 5 days. Pay back my mom, pay back bill and spend excessively on food. Also i am making a t-shirt something like my Tukang MeKarut one. This time it's Pahlawan Putih with the pic of the blue keris. Woohoo. This time it's cheaper. 19.95. Just because I got my pay recently people are asking for "belanjes". Reminder: aku tak cap duit. I want to save for my next two bills but i dont think i can arh. Too many thing for me to waste on. Wahahah...
Odd that she still hasnt approved my request to be her friend. Actually no news at all from Natassia. Maybe she's busy or something. Another rejection without being rejected.

Abnormal normality. Informal formality. Thats me.
Pahlawan Putih

Roses really smell poo-o-o....

Perasaanku Bagai Kaca Dihempas Batu,
Bertaburan, Berderaian Berlumuran Darah,
Berisi Berat Kehampaan, Beribu-ribu,
Apa Sayangnya Ku Sangka Kami Berarah...

She's engaged. Stab me with a knife. Hopefully it would distract me. Engaged. Searching for any last crevices of hope. Who knows right? ..... Hopeless. I had to fall all in love with a girl who's just perfect and is studying in Canada and already engaged at this age. What are the odds. Man..Buruk belaka nasibku. Now I can only hope she invites me to her wedding. Hehe...Stupid hope. Lethargy is settling in. Nerves getting weak. Limbs losing strength. And I am wholly losing it. As if there's no other to replace her. But damn I tell you she's like the moon. The moon! A Flawless Dream personified. Bourgeois Cry? I don't think I will. Maybe I just wont get over it until I you know...How could I possibly match up to someone like that? Anyway I know she's the one though she cant be here to know that. Her qualities becomes the prerequsite to any of my other half possibilities. Shidah said that this is may just be an infatuation. Almost a decade of infatuation? Wasted, wasted.

Rohasliza accepted my friendster request and sent me a msg. She was a member of Pahlawan Putih my malay language group previously in PRI 5. So odd that I didn't realise it was her and had to ask her if she knew me. She was from the same kindergarten summore. She said she saw me at Planet Dikir Competition Last year. I remember as the Rashidah of Primary school. Not a boastful person nor a poser. Simple beautiful girl. You know....She's the one who told me Natassia is engaged. Thanks man. I really appreciate it. If not I wouldn't cut down on dreaming.

Khafid is leaving for Yemen in a while. 2am. Going there to further his studies. Went over to Cik Lah's house. Probably not gonnna see khafid for sometime. I actually wanted to go and send to the airport but not much space in the vehicles I reckon. Sigh. May things go fine for him there. Insya Allah.

All this while I have been a lonesome sailor on his beaten Bahtera globe-trotting with a desire to return to a Pulau Impian where he never experience worries of any nature. The island of perfect harmony where nothing seemed out of place. One day he found the island but it there were rock formations all around that discouraged him to reach the shoreline. "I will abandon my boat and swim there if I have to" But is it really worth it? Why go all the trouble? There are certainly other islands around. Even though you try the chances are slim. May be Pulau Impian Should always remain a dream...Now I am all Keroncong untuk Ana....Walaupun sejengkal jari, agar dapat ku berdiri, di ambang pintumu....

Adakah ruang bagiku di hatimu? --gone all Jiwang
Pahlawan Putih.

I took and Animal love test because of it's weird name....Animal love test...What's your first thought?

http://www.naucon.net/misc/tests/love_test01.htm

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is patience, never give up on you.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is flexible.

4. What you hate most in your partner is that the person is
ruthless, cold-blooded, and/or ironic.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one that you care not only about the present but
also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship
that you can grow with.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married,
you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

8. At this moment, you think of love as a commitment for both parties.

I think is true bout the marriage part. Divorce is not an option.
I cant stop thinking bout her. Damn. But the more I think of it the more I realise that it indeed is only a fantasy. How do you capture the moon? Tangan hamba di ikat ke langit dan kaki hamba masih terpahat di bumi. Tidak mampu hamba capai si Bulan purnama.......
Today we had outdoor. Dikir at marina bay. Where there are no wall it helps strengthen the voice since there isnt much echo outdoors. It was fun considering the last time we went for an outdoor was last year. After that I had to rush to Gurame since an old friend of my uncle for Sweden or something wanted to treat the whole family. I had to walk a lot and take two form of transportation to get there. Bloody I say. Sweat buckets. The food was nice ah.. Not fussy. Then now I am at here. Haha...Bad engrish.

Hanya kalau kekanda sedar..
Pahlawan Putih