Dia mencurah hujan
melilit tanah gersang
dari kepulan awan
tanda rahmatNya

Aku mencurah air mata
aliran sayu tak sengaja
dari kepulan kenangan
tanda kesyukuran

Sehati, sejiwa...

untuk selama-lamanya
Pahlawan Putih

love,

if you gave me a hair pin
i would not snigger
at how obsolete
that object might be

but would firmly grip,
to leave an impression
on my fingertips
and register its contours
a complementing mould

but i would keep in my pocket,
to form a false sense of security
everytime my courage breaks down on me
by animating it
under the covers of my denim jeans

but i would clip memories
good or bad
sandwiched
colated accordingly
for me to smile

but if you leave
the hair pin will lose all meaning
and it would slip
from my hand
form a hole in my pocket
firm documentation, no more

and maybe its time
for you to inform me
of this misfortune
before i wait
for that hair pin....

Segala-galanya

Gonna be a this week is promising to be hectic. Late nights, insatiable hunger, fast food breakfast lunch and dinner, mood swings and basically stress.

On Saturday, after drama practice, I went for an Arts Enrichment Programme conducted by Ekamatra with Hajar and Zah. It was super cool, as zah might put it. We got to talk to the playwrights of the 2 plays we were scheduled to watch that night and man was it eye opening. Abg Najib was way seasoned. Elangovan was like bitting on a caradom seed as you eat your briyani. That man is burstfuls of flavourful shock, with his colourful background and valuable experience. He'd go all the way to do research and his plays are insightful encounters. Like Buang Suey and Mines.

After touring the Substation, 'the poor man's theatre', it was show time.
Kalbun was really really good. I really like how abg Najib takes what is very 'practiced', but not really concious of, in our community and use it in his play. Practices that we never really bothered to question. As an actor, he was more the bagos. Cant believe my eyes watered during the Nikita part. hell.

P was in tamil. We go a taste of our own medicine. We had to look up to the subtitles each time. Maybe the play was too profound for our comprehension. But i dont think it being in Tamil became a hindrance. There was a lot of crude puns. hohoh.
all and all it was a nice day. Thought provoking at the end.


On Sunday, Titisan had to do a shooting for Pentas. We went all over sg, starting from Kampung melayu. We ended up at Esplanade in the evening. Saw a signage about My Lush Plastic Love in a Garden of Numb. Free admission. So yeah. We all got to watch a performance together. Macam outing lah gitu loe.
The performance was really enjoyable. I especially liked the part when Fared came out in a 'gown'. It was very convincing. i dunno, i just liked that part alot. All and all it was enjoyable.

So there it was, my artsy farsty weekend.

Try to update
Pahlawan Putih

The boy that had nothing to lose





it wasnt a rash decision. it wasnt too well thought out either. but i think i have come to a point where i understand. i understand that there is no use clinging on to this world.

live life, lose the frills
Pahlawan Putih

PENTAS 2006/2005

Pentas is TP Malay Arts Group's annual production. The peak of each academic year. This year, the theme is 'Akar Aku' or 'My Roots'. It revolves around a set of Dikir Barat Lyrics that Abg Bobo came up with. There would be dikir barat, dance, drama and other performances, that promises to entertain.
In Malay.

details are as follows:
1st April 2006
7.30pm
Auditorium 1, Temasek Polytechnic^
Tickets $6 only

Booking Available through Izyan: 97946517 / Nadia: 87667351
Prayer area would be provided

I did up the poster, and soon to be published, brochure, and will be involved in a small role in drama and dikir barat. Dont be shy, come on down and see what tertiary students can do with a stage, and audience and tight funding from the school. : D

Spread the love MAG members
Pahlawan Putih

Sweetness

shikin wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out shikin's profile and send a reply.
A message from shikin:
Wei wei Irfan -!!!-

How you've been? Itz been rather long since we all get together & catch-up on life, yeah. Known you since biler eh? & yet tings seems so distance now iznt it? Well, whatever it is, hope you get to achieve your dreams kays.

Hugs & Misses -!!!-

HAHA!! rip off! copyright! siaper tuuu..??heh

fine.was bored..so saja jer nak kacau ...

eh i miss ur laugh. add me in msn liaoz!
#######@hotmail.com

ok bye!


All the roses in the world
look up to my friends,
for they know their petals
were never really sweet to begin with

Seoul Garden Soon yeah?
Pahlawan Putih

Tagged

but im going to be pretty much a wet blanket with this one.

"the tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of how the want their perfect lover to be like. specify gender of the target. tag 8 victims to join in this game. leave a msg on their page saying theyve been tagged. if tagged twice, there's no need to post a second time."

gender: It

Its really hard to say a gender cos my lover could very much be a cat, like the one at tapac (she mentel but shy). And i dunno, you'd really have to analyse the meaning of lover. Does a lover love, or be loved upon, or both? Would you eventually get married to this lover? Which form of love are we talking about? Define perfection. Define characteristics. Would this test prove/solve/change anything?

characteristics:
1. has eyes that entice me to look deeper.
2. age is but a number.
3. intellectual, yet goofy.
4. soft hands for mine to sail on.
5. wealth is but a status.
6. generous lips.
7. imperfect.
8. saucy smile (whisker, if refering to cats).

Taking Care
Pahlawan Putih

TAPAC

~Teh-pack

This week has been rollercoaster-y. Well, at least i enjoyed every bit of it.
The workshops. The people. The place.

The previous post contains the pictures i took in / nearby tapac. The first two pictures were taken on friday at Al-Abrar Mosque. Workshop started at two and so i did my friday prayers at the nearest mosque, which was Al-Abrar mosque. The Sermon was in Tamil.
It was so interesting to be listening to words of a language that i could not comprehend. To be in the position of a Muslim from a minor races, listening to a Malay sermon in most mosques. To be affected by the vigor of the unrecognisable words.
After which we had a Directing Workshop with Aidli 'Alin' Mosbit. Rugi kalau tak pergi. She is so, so.. undescribable. So open. So controversial, in a good way. So spontaneous. Maybe one day i get a chance to work with her.

The day before, thursday, we also had a workshop. Set and Lighting. With Fared Janial and Zizi Azah. It dealt with more experimentation than theory. Exoansion of creativity and blurring the lines of reality. "My lush plastic love sitting in a garden of numb" I first saw fared as pak joko in lelembut. Somehow, the impression still sticks, he still is a wak. and Zizi Azah? lets just say i should stop having those older lady crushes. hohoho

The next two pictures are from tapac. Its so run down, but yet thats the beauty of it. Not bound by a 5 year paint renewal shedule. Not a uniquely singapore facade. Not a wannabe. But its scary to imagine that it was once a school. With all the grills, images of students being treated like spca strays come to mind. Talk about strays, the cat is actually adopted by ekamatra, i think. I wonder if she has a name. She's manja at times and just plain sombong at others. If i was a cat, i;d also be roaming around Tapac
Tapac is however the best example of the saying, 'Old School'.

Nenek making teh. Where else can you find such a thing. Its hard as it is to find malays running a drinks stall (with teh), but to find a senior citizen? it just shows how much harder it is. I took the picture for the set and lighting assignment. You should have seen the shy / malu reaction she gave when i asked for a photo. And when she smiles, she lights up your day.

Another take on sunlight. Open to interpretaion. hohoh


Yesterday, saturday, i went for Mega Perdana 2006's taklimat. Another project i would have to juggle with. The tema is 'Penggilap Permata'. Submission of lyrics is 9th april. damn it betol. and i think my malay has gone rusty. not that it was ever flawlessly shiny, C6 siak.
Anyway, after that we FINALLY went to Bibik's (Kampung Collections) to srttle upah jahit. Kinda excited actually. Our current baju is so the haprak. Just waiting for the approval from CC.


With all this juggling, i ought to be a clown
Pahlawan Putih

Tapac

dan sewaktu dengannya

Here i am at places
where you've been
and so i imagine
you smiling

i'm laughing
cos im just falling
for you
at places you've seen

and im in love
Pahlawan Putih

Busy babeh

Monday,

Playwriting Clinic 1 with Mr Effendy.

Quite dry and shy. Basically a more detailed description of PPP and creative ways to approach a theme.


Tuesday,

Acting and Voice 1 with Mr Sazali

Sometimes we can really make out what Mr Sazali's saying, but he really is good at refining acting and voice. We learnt to shift into different characters and emotional states in matter of seconds.

Playwriting Clinic 2 with Natalie

Really entertaining. Explored the option of device playwriting. However, Nat integrated an acting workshop also, which made it interesting. To show how to play with different speeds, levels & intesity.

After which, i had PST training in school


Wednesday,

Playwriting Clinic 3 with Hai Yen

I was disinterested at first but as time passed, it all made sense. I discovered the magnitude of information an item could possess, and how lines should reflect very much the character being refered to, or the character saying it.
Me and Hajar were paired up, and we tackled writing the title/theme, sypnosis, character profile and scene breakdown for a 20min play.

(since its still fresh in my memory,)
Title: Whisper (It was in english only because Hai Yen did not understand malay)
Theme: The Necessary Evil?

Jason a 15 year old shy boy starts the play by appearing very neurotic and anxious. He then whispers a prayer to god. Before he continues, there is a scene change.
Jason is now seen opening a door, cautious of his steps. He then looks around and whispers "anyone in here?" to affirm he is alone, less aware of his movements from then on.
Jason then quickly grabs toilet paper, in a messy bunched up manner. He then gets ready for his exit.
At the same time he swings the door open, his History Teacher, Mr Halim, 36, is exiting the room directly opposite of Jason. Flushed, Mr Halim then, soflty, in a stern tone, asks Jason to follow him to the staff room, as if suppressing the rage within.
Next scene
Jason is seen tailing, Mr Halim, who's back seems as intimidating as his large steps, and fat butcher hands. Mr Halim then stops at the corridor of the staff room, as it was a policy not to provided comfort (conditioned air) to a pupil that is being punished. With the same tone, he asks Jason why he was in the girls' toilet?!
Almost forgeting the mass of recycled paper scrunched up in his hands, he whispered, in embarassment, that the boys' toilet ran out of toilet paper, sir.
Mr Halim raised his eyebrows. He recalls his incident with a paper pulp, stuck onto the ceiling by anonymous prankster, that dirtied his pair of crocodile loafers.
In suspicion, Mr Halim requests (in a menacing whisper) for Jason to keep still, threathening to expel him if he tried to run. Mr Halim then mentions that he would leave the case to the Discipline Master, who at the moment was having a meeting.
Mr Halim then enters the staff room.

Jason is contemplating his fate, after all, he still hasnt gone to the toilet, detention classes during a hectic study week would mean a higher chance of failure due to the loss of time. A bad record his last year, would be quite humiliating. Jason then repeats the opening scene where he is praying to god to help him in his time of need.

As he collected a report from a colleague, Ms Siva, 25, Literature teacher, Mr Halim then starts whispering / gossiping about Jason and its relation to his ruined crocodile loafers, with the report as a sheild from prying ears. Ms Siva is nonchalant, but politely pays attention. The scenes ends with Mr Halim seeing the DM leaving the meeting room.
"i've got to go" this time whispering, to refrain from disturbing the other teachers in the room.

Mr Halim goes out of the staff room and signals Jason to go into the DM's office. Mr Halim then leaves, leaving jason to walk by himself into the office. Coincidentally, Ms Siva was mumbling to herself about Mr Halim, questioning his sexuality - as he was still not married at that age, and asking why he even bothered telling her something so irrelevant and useless. Yes, Jason heard everthing, although her mumbles were soft, they were carelessly audible. Upon realising that Jason was there, Ms Siva panicked, and said "you didnt heard that", this time without voice, but sheer exageration of the movements of her lips.

Jason nodded and then made his way. The air surrounding is tense and heavy, as if that tension was overflowing into the corridor as Jason opened the office door.

As Jason stood there, beside a plastic chair, the DM asked "Why were you in seen leaving a girls' toilet?"

Jason whispered the unfortunate series of events, his whispers almost inaudible this time. The then DM asked, puzzled yet curious, "Why are you whispering?"

The End.

Hai Yen said she liked ours, due to its simplicity. I guess it becomes a habit for me to tackle themes in a clean but intricate fashion.

Acting 1 with Sani Hussin

I think this was the most intense, most memorable workshop i have attended so far. We explored so many different aspects of acting. There was this segment, which was to mirror image a partner, and my partner was really awesome to work with cos we really connected with our hearts and to each other with every movement. At one point of time, i totally zoned out. Almost in oblivion. I left the workshop shaken, weak, as if it drained me of every last bit of energy. And well, now i know who's Sani. Sunny.

I had sriwana after that, around 7pm? I learnt inang in one session. Thanks again Fana. hohoho

I m loving it lah. just the lack of sleep.

Cant wait for tmrw's workshops.

Ekamatra works
Pahlawan Putih

Red...

...and yellow (like the apek's mind) on the table/chart.


statment / declaration


Is Singapore still under Japanese rule?


The secondary focus

Merah
Pahlawan Putih

Sunlight

It conforms. It highlights. It enhances.

Sunlight

but its last for only a day.

Thank god for nights
Pahlawan Putih

Sunat



My youngest brother got circumsised today, thursday 9 March. Quite hilarious, because you'd see him in a sarong, and theres this section that sticks out due to a self made frame to keep minimal contact between the sarong and, the now delicately sensitive, private part. hoho. My brother's now in Primary 3. I got circumsised when i was in Primary 1. Those were the days...
The awkward sleeping positions, the prescribed liquid you had to pour on it every few hours, the trips to the sea and or swimming pool, few weeks after, to help the healing process, the uncomfortable but airy sarong, the small steps, slow and steady, foot by foot, to prevent friction, skin to flesh. haha
the necessary pain

I feel like a shit head. Making dates, then completely not keeping them. Like on sunday, there was an orang kahwin(wedding) show, but i woke up with the coarsest of voice. I totally lost it, and so i didnt go for the show.

Then on tuesday, planned to go to the moo zoo, but i dunno, i just wasnt feeling well, moodwise. I still feel bad. nonsensically bad

Then yesterday, there was training, but i had this bloody urgent last minute meeting to attend, personal responsibilities, and end up not going for the training.

Luckily though, i met up with wawa, dee, indah, cipah and afiq at bugis for an al-majlis supper. I needed the break.

anyway.. thats how shitty i felt the whole of this week.

Love saved the day again though.

heh, wasabi chips
Pahlawan Putih

1 new message

Tell me,
if i caught you one day
and kissed the sole of your foot,
wouldn't you limp a little then,
afraid to crush my kiss?
- Nichita Stanescu


my reply...

Soul meets soul on lover's lips.
- Percy Bysshe Shelly

but if lips meets sole,
then i would tiptoe
so that traces of your soul
would not wear off from my sole

nectar would not satisfy this craving for your saccharine voice,
and the froth that molests my lips,
numbs them,
dumb, i become

Sepet

Finish watching the movie quite sometime back in the evening. Love is an understatement to how i feel about the movie.
But yes, i loved it.
I liked how it was very balanced and had most elements of a good movie.
And the script?
almost theatrical, as if it was one of those stage to screen productions.

Will blog more about it after i watch it for the second-fifth time. Thanks again Hajar for loaning it to me. It was definately much better than UnguViolet.


Titisan Temasek, if you dont already know, is one of the seven subgroups in MAG. Primarily a Malay Drama group, Titisan Temasek members are very well known for their versatility. This years batch, involved a team of enthusiatic, creative and expressive individuals. Their last performance was staged during Temasek Poly's Arts Happening, which in my opinion proved to be very humourous and entertaining.

Titisan is the the action of water droplets falling, commonly used to describe tears. I laughed my profusely, in danger of rupturing my stomach, when i received my first ever sms/notification of a practice date. See the abbreviated/shortened name for Titisan is Tits. Tits. hahaha... what a radical bunch of people.

I got involve with Titisan when i decided to sign up, with a few of of their members, for Nadiputra's Scriptwriting Workshop (Malay), organised by Berita Harian, E-remaja. From then on, ties started to form and strengthen. Before i knew it, i was part of Titisan, something im quite proud of. heh

So this year for PENTAS 2006, (PENTAS is an annual MAG production, involving all seven subgroups, that aims to provide a platform for artistic development in Temasek Poly), titisan temasek would be doing up a skit. The audition, last week, last post, went a bit too well. I wasnt really hoping to get any character actually, but i got one.
Needs a lot of character study. Abit kekok when it comes to characters of this genre.
Furthermore, i m trying out as scriptwriter. but i prefer the term amatuer playwright. hahaha. I wanna make it light, loud an clear, yet berisi / with substance. Very dangerouslah with the amount of cast. Well, kalau Concept Manager dah titahkan, apa lagi...
heheh

Looking forward to Pesta Peti Putih though. Cant wait for the workshops (13-17 March), that is if we are selected lah.
The word 'workshops' gets me hyped up these days.
The promise of knowledge. The pratical sessions. The meeting other people.

Titisan!

Can you reduce or even stop this?
Pahlawan Putih

Liberty

your hair smells ever so fresh
a quick sway of synchronised strands
leaves the air around scented
lingering with wafts of tranquility

your hair runs so smoothly through my fingers
like a river sailing above pebbles
conforming to its contours
submissive to its textures

your hair hides those roving brown eyes
a veil hanging by your fringe
tucked behind the weary ear
in anticipation of the subtlest cue

your hair is a flag worth hanging
to allow the caress of the envious wind
create a hypnotic saltation
of spontaneous choreography

I intended to describe liberty / liberation, however short lived it might be, but it seems like i was temporarily fantasising about someone's hair.
It could be the fact i went for a haircut, a while ago.
I must say, that it would be the least unpleasant hair pruning experience i ever had. Fast, clean, and as i wanted it to be it.


Before i start accumulating anymore memories, its best i recorded those that have been begging to leave my thoughts, to be blogged.



Without much thought, sometimes decisions are best made in that manner, i decide to enroll myself in Sriwana's bengkel tari (Dance Workshop), where i will learn the 5 basic forms of malay dance - Inang, Asli, Zapin, Joget & Masri, in the course of one year. Trainings are every Wednesdays (God knows why) and carried out at TAPAC. (Telok Ayer Performing Arts Centre)

[TAPAC has this personality, this air of identity floating around it, that makes me grow fond of it. Almost like a sanctuary, where there is invioable privacy for the arts to blossom, admists the whispers of the clouds, the glares of surrounding skyscrapers, the cracked concrete floors, as if indication of age - like wrinkles to a human face. Futhermore theair tebu Muar (Muar sugar cane juice), at the adjacent hawker centre, is absolutely delicious.]

So far i've learnt Asli, which is quite tough, but enjoyable.



Next memory, is the past chaotic friday. A wrap to my exams, which couldnt be any worse, and also a celebration cum console session. I would not elaborate on this elaborate day. It would drain me of my spirits. heh
Then without thought, again, i followed the girls who had already been scheming of a sleep over at ili's place. They all had change of clothes, while i had only my phone and wallet to my name at that time. But it was fun. Sobah kept me entertained with his extensive collection of Dikir songs and lyrics. Ouh, and ili's mom makes the best sambal goreng pengantin!



On saturday, i was scheduled to watch a play, Rosnah, part of the M1 fringe festival. Unfortunately, the MRT decided to die on me. I was stuck at Simei Stn for 30 soild minutes (of trying to keep the anger in) due to some technical faults at Tanah Merah. When the train finally reached bugis (the play being at Drama centre black box, national library) i decided to drop all form of dignity and run. Run like the wind. Run all the way, past seiyu, parco bugis, intercontinental hotel and all the way up 5 levels only to be denied entry, as there was only 10mins left of the monologue. At that point, i thought what a killjoy.

Luckily, the day was saved by Superman!!! Very nice to have treated me. Felt so much better with company around. We chatted at starbucks, prolly the highlight of the night, while waiting for Munich. I loved the movie. It has much depth. Portraying humanity in its most vunerable form. The photography, and direction, was amazing. Overall, it was a memorable/insightful night. : )



Then on Monday, i went to school to settle some stuff then crashed SNT's training and then lepaked at Sri Sun. I adore the Puri there. and the ikut-mood teh peng.
After which, i dropped by Aida's to get anti-boredom materials for the week.
She loaned me 'He loves me, He loves me not' a french movie that proved to be quite scary towards the ending, 'The Boy that plays on the Buddhas of Bamiyan', that had beautiful photography, and 'Dead Poets Society', which i have yet to watch.
I love her and her mom lah. Today she called me at 9am to tell me her mom cooked ayam masak merah (Chicken cooked red) and asked if i wanted any. Will never be able to resist the promise of ayam masak merah. Semangat lah!


Then yesterday, i went to school to get some work done on my design projects and go swimming after a long long long state of 'physical inactivity'

Shortly after an embarassing number of laps, dried myself and made my way to arts space. There was a Titisan audition for the upcoming Pentas.
Was not prepared to write, and afterwards act out, a 1min monologue based on the theme 'Modern', there and then. It basically caught me off-guard. Here is mine:
(Bear with me, its 95% malay)

Satu...dua...tiga! (Petik gambar audiens)
Jangan marah yer.
Saya ni memang suka ambil gambar.
Kata orang, untuk immortalise atau mengzahirkan secebis memori.
Dan ianya dapat dilihat kembali. Ah macam ni...
(tunjuk 'screen' kepada audiens)
Dulu, nasib gambar itu terkunci dalam camera, dalam sekeping film,
sampailah ia dihantar ke kedai, untuk dicuci.
Yang ini, kalau tak suka, delete ajer.
Satu butang yang menentukannya
Ibarat dapat telek masa depan.
Ibarat sudah dapat melihat yang akan datang.
Tak suka? Buang.
Itulah modenisasi. Itulah akibat modenisasi.
Sudah tiada suprise.
Semuanya dah dinanti-nanti.
Semuanya dah bakal jadi.
Kemana hilang zaman merahnya padi tergantung pada cuaca hari?
tergantung pada Illahi?

Hai.. modenisasi
terlalu mudah sekali
bak one...two...three (Petik gambar lagi)

I presented it in a very Karut way. Karut Patani. And i just realised that most of it rhymed. well, some habits are hard to stop. hahah.. hancur..

anyway i can hold up anymore. Enjoy this long long post!

Smiling
Pahlawan Putih