Explain yourself
I dont think i owe anyone an explaination but this is just for the record.
It started with the post dated 5th april.
apparently it caused alot of unhappiness among the directors of Pentas itself. cos they worked really hard. Directors refering to Firdaus (fid), amin, mamat and farhaanah.
After which i was called for a meeting late at night at as-salihin to talk about the post. it ended peacefully. more like pissfully, but i just kept quiet. After the meeting, it was agreed that gave my apology to all four of the respective directors who were "offended". Up till now, i've only apologised to Fid sincerely. I havent been meeting mamat or farhaanah so i guess i still OWE them an apology.
I presume this is what Fid meant by
"
fid
hutang darah dibayar darah... hutang mu sudah selesai?
fid
manusia berpegang kepada janji... masih menanti..."
Which i replied with
"
pahlawan
jangan mengharapkan darah ribut,
kerana darahkan berhenti mengalir,
dek keikhlasan yang dituntut,
takkan sampai hulu atau hilir
pahlawan
Selagi pipit mengharap,
selagi itulah ia terperap,
dalam sangkar ia meratap,
menanti tidak lenyap"
Which meant, you cannot force something like sincerity out of someone. And for me, i abhored expectations. Cause with expectations the more i didnt want to do something. Im no bloody mule, to listen to your every commands. And to tag it to my blog, with no bloody discretion. What is fid trying to do? create a big hoo haa. Then fine...
Then fid replied with
"
fid
to AIDA: hutang emas, hutang apa? hutang budi, hutang siapa? N dont apologise for mistakes? hahaha... teruslah belajar....
fid
to anonymous: if ppl hu borrowed, PATHETICALLY, paid up as promised, there wudden BE any loansharks, would there....?
fid
bukan pipit menanti, tapi kiwi sinis memerli... helang terbang tinggi, tapi hama di kaki...
fid
misan diberi, hampas kembali.... "
To me it was exceptionally rude lah. Firstly im not helang, not flying high. and to associate an apology to a debt and to a 'hama'... really got me tired.just bloody idiotically tired. then..
"pahlawan
sekali lagi, jangan mengharapkan yang bakal jadi. dan sedarlah pendirianmu. aku kenal tanggungjawabku. tak usah hama jadi samudera...
fid
pendirian aku ......?
pahlawan
renunglah depan muka air,
keangkuhan yang mengalir"
I admit the last comment was abit of a personal attack, cos the meeting on 14th of april was quite torturous. i've come to accept the fact that there would be indeed people who are too full of themselves but not notice it in the way they speak.
then...
"sibacin
jgn begitu kawan2...first class baik sencond class pon baik...
pahlawan
unfortunately it has nothing to do with class/caste. it deals with how people think they're too good for their own good
pahlawan
handphone ada, tapi masih nak post kat blog org... padahal, padahal... "
Soon after, during SIP...
Fid msgs
"Ah ni aku dah msg. tak kat blog. malam ni aku nak jumpa
eh kau kat skolah kan? malam jumpa kat techno" (somewhere along the lines)
My reply
"Dah tumpah baru nak ubah?
Kalau nak telek
madu sirih jampi
bukan nak ejek
aku tgh SIP
Malam tak balik
siang tak fre
tulislah emaik kek
malas nak jumpa lagi"
Fid replies while im busily working... how convenient right?
"Malas ke bacul? Sampai bila kau nak lari? Kau da salah jolok sarang lah... Sekarang aku nak jumpa pahlawan. Anak jantan. bukan kedi sembunyi di balik skrin."
"Kau kerja mac changi, kau tinggal tamp central. Sekali lagi, dengan baik aku ajak jumpa. Aku tak faham ape hal kau. Marilah jumpa. Aku takkan cepuk kau sayangnye. Polis pun banyak. Cuma nk tahu ape hal kau nk hina, nk caci. Mana2, bila2... Malam ni.."
Then Yan gets in the picture. A msg from his number.
"Bacul."
My reply
"Sesungguhnya aku kedi
jual badan di changi
idam kemaluan lelaki
dah besar nak jadi bini
andai kena kuti
lari ke mummy
isap ibu jari
Cakap apa kau nak
Ngomel sepuas tidak
I have no motivation to meet you. I had no intention to diss you. And i have no pleasure in listening to you.
bingit dgr pipit nyayi
puji diri sendiri
ni aku tgh keje ni
tolonglah berhenti"
bak pepatah Zah, Faaakkit lah! Im bloody not well, drowsy on medication, suffering in SIP and have no available free time, and here i have a person who is annoyingly pesterful and exactly what he describe me as. Im sorry but you're the one who barked up the wrong tree,a.k.a. salah jolok sarang. You could've approached me discreetly and not put the pressure on my sincerety. but instead, you thought you should cause some waves.
ombak akan kembali ke pantai juga
and Faaakkit lah to what you have to say. Cause i've grown immune.
Have you ever thought that maybe i dont want to meet cos i keep visualising an image of me summmarising all my suppressed anger in one punch, and another image of me in court for manslaugther? your not worth it. not at all.
To think after my shift i get a msg from Yan
""yo bro. sori tadi bukan aku msg. Fid amek hp aku"
Conteng arang dimuka sendiri...
And not forgetting the people who contributed their 2 cents for the progress package...
"Kuching Hitam
Bergini lah dunia bila org sudah pandai berjalan akan lupa kesusahan bertatih..inilah yg dikatakan hidung tercucuk ke langit..baru pandai berjalan dah penuh ngan angkuhan.."
Siapakah anda untuk menegur insan? Sembunyi dibelakang nak berteguran. Andai namamu disebarkan, akan ku dengarkan teladan, tetapi malah, hanya menyalak belakang dandan
"nana
kata-kata mu penuh ke angkuhan yang tidak bertempat."
Harap baca lagi, mungkin dengan teliti. Ada banyak interpretasi. Kata-kata ku ikut kesesuaian hati, dari sumber yang hina lagi keji.
"Van Der Troll
Sangat berbunga kata2mu itu..."
Terima kasih. tetapi kadang kala, bunga pun beracun.
"kuda putih
pahlawan putih,indah dan tajam kata2 mu.tapi sayang. keris mu hanya pandai melakar kan amarah mu di tempat ini tapi bila sudah bersua keris mu terus s"
Terima kasih untuk menyuluh bilik yang sudah terang. Sememangnya aku sadar akan kebenaran ini ketika mabuk dalam amarah yang di katakan. Moga dengan pesanan ini, keris ku kan lebih tajam lagi, dalam melakar, biarpun bersua. InsyaAllah.
"...
full of attitude sark... tsktsk. ckp baik2 tak boleh ke.... nice language. but oh so tajam."
Your msg got me confused. Nonetheless thank you for the progress package that i do not deserve. still under 21 years old.
I think the stanza that put people off is
"dan jangan cuba
andai bakat tiada
nak kata berbunga
sambil memerli ana"
Try reading it again.. it would make more sense. Im merely countering an attack.
For now, JUST FAAAAKKITT LAH......
Choose your protagonist and your antagonist
Pahlawan Putih
I dont think i owe anyone an explaination but this is just for the record.
It started with the post dated 5th april.
apparently it caused alot of unhappiness among the directors of Pentas itself. cos they worked really hard. Directors refering to Firdaus (fid), amin, mamat and farhaanah.
After which i was called for a meeting late at night at as-salihin to talk about the post. it ended peacefully. more like pissfully, but i just kept quiet. After the meeting, it was agreed that gave my apology to all four of the respective directors who were "offended". Up till now, i've only apologised to Fid sincerely. I havent been meeting mamat or farhaanah so i guess i still OWE them an apology.
I presume this is what Fid meant by
"
fid
hutang darah dibayar darah... hutang mu sudah selesai?
fid
manusia berpegang kepada janji... masih menanti..."
Which i replied with
"
pahlawan
jangan mengharapkan darah ribut,
kerana darahkan berhenti mengalir,
dek keikhlasan yang dituntut,
takkan sampai hulu atau hilir
pahlawan
Selagi pipit mengharap,
selagi itulah ia terperap,
dalam sangkar ia meratap,
menanti tidak lenyap"
Which meant, you cannot force something like sincerity out of someone. And for me, i abhored expectations. Cause with expectations the more i didnt want to do something. Im no bloody mule, to listen to your every commands. And to tag it to my blog, with no bloody discretion. What is fid trying to do? create a big hoo haa. Then fine...
Then fid replied with
"
fid
to AIDA: hutang emas, hutang apa? hutang budi, hutang siapa? N dont apologise for mistakes? hahaha... teruslah belajar....
fid
to anonymous: if ppl hu borrowed, PATHETICALLY, paid up as promised, there wudden BE any loansharks, would there....?
fid
bukan pipit menanti, tapi kiwi sinis memerli... helang terbang tinggi, tapi hama di kaki...
fid
misan diberi, hampas kembali.... "
To me it was exceptionally rude lah. Firstly im not helang, not flying high. and to associate an apology to a debt and to a 'hama'... really got me tired.just bloody idiotically tired. then..
"pahlawan
sekali lagi, jangan mengharapkan yang bakal jadi. dan sedarlah pendirianmu. aku kenal tanggungjawabku. tak usah hama jadi samudera...
fid
pendirian aku ......?
pahlawan
renunglah depan muka air,
keangkuhan yang mengalir"
I admit the last comment was abit of a personal attack, cos the meeting on 14th of april was quite torturous. i've come to accept the fact that there would be indeed people who are too full of themselves but not notice it in the way they speak.
then...
"sibacin
jgn begitu kawan2...first class baik sencond class pon baik...
pahlawan
unfortunately it has nothing to do with class/caste. it deals with how people think they're too good for their own good
pahlawan
handphone ada, tapi masih nak post kat blog org... padahal, padahal... "
Soon after, during SIP...
Fid msgs
"Ah ni aku dah msg. tak kat blog. malam ni aku nak jumpa
eh kau kat skolah kan? malam jumpa kat techno" (somewhere along the lines)
My reply
"Dah tumpah baru nak ubah?
Kalau nak telek
madu sirih jampi
bukan nak ejek
aku tgh SIP
Malam tak balik
siang tak fre
tulislah emaik kek
malas nak jumpa lagi"
Fid replies while im busily working... how convenient right?
"Malas ke bacul? Sampai bila kau nak lari? Kau da salah jolok sarang lah... Sekarang aku nak jumpa pahlawan. Anak jantan. bukan kedi sembunyi di balik skrin."
"Kau kerja mac changi, kau tinggal tamp central. Sekali lagi, dengan baik aku ajak jumpa. Aku tak faham ape hal kau. Marilah jumpa. Aku takkan cepuk kau sayangnye. Polis pun banyak. Cuma nk tahu ape hal kau nk hina, nk caci. Mana2, bila2... Malam ni.."
Then Yan gets in the picture. A msg from his number.
"Bacul."
My reply
"Sesungguhnya aku kedi
jual badan di changi
idam kemaluan lelaki
dah besar nak jadi bini
andai kena kuti
lari ke mummy
isap ibu jari
Cakap apa kau nak
Ngomel sepuas tidak
I have no motivation to meet you. I had no intention to diss you. And i have no pleasure in listening to you.
bingit dgr pipit nyayi
puji diri sendiri
ni aku tgh keje ni
tolonglah berhenti"
bak pepatah Zah, Faaakkit lah! Im bloody not well, drowsy on medication, suffering in SIP and have no available free time, and here i have a person who is annoyingly pesterful and exactly what he describe me as. Im sorry but you're the one who barked up the wrong tree,a.k.a. salah jolok sarang. You could've approached me discreetly and not put the pressure on my sincerety. but instead, you thought you should cause some waves.
ombak akan kembali ke pantai juga
and Faaakkit lah to what you have to say. Cause i've grown immune.
Have you ever thought that maybe i dont want to meet cos i keep visualising an image of me summmarising all my suppressed anger in one punch, and another image of me in court for manslaugther? your not worth it. not at all.
To think after my shift i get a msg from Yan
""yo bro. sori tadi bukan aku msg. Fid amek hp aku"
Conteng arang dimuka sendiri...
And not forgetting the people who contributed their 2 cents for the progress package...
"Kuching Hitam
Bergini lah dunia bila org sudah pandai berjalan akan lupa kesusahan bertatih..inilah yg dikatakan hidung tercucuk ke langit..baru pandai berjalan dah penuh ngan angkuhan.."
Siapakah anda untuk menegur insan? Sembunyi dibelakang nak berteguran. Andai namamu disebarkan, akan ku dengarkan teladan, tetapi malah, hanya menyalak belakang dandan
"nana
kata-kata mu penuh ke angkuhan yang tidak bertempat."
Harap baca lagi, mungkin dengan teliti. Ada banyak interpretasi. Kata-kata ku ikut kesesuaian hati, dari sumber yang hina lagi keji.
"Van Der Troll
Sangat berbunga kata2mu itu..."
Terima kasih. tetapi kadang kala, bunga pun beracun.
"kuda putih
pahlawan putih,indah dan tajam kata2 mu.tapi sayang. keris mu hanya pandai melakar kan amarah mu di tempat ini tapi bila sudah bersua keris mu terus s"
Terima kasih untuk menyuluh bilik yang sudah terang. Sememangnya aku sadar akan kebenaran ini ketika mabuk dalam amarah yang di katakan. Moga dengan pesanan ini, keris ku kan lebih tajam lagi, dalam melakar, biarpun bersua. InsyaAllah.
"...
full of attitude sark... tsktsk. ckp baik2 tak boleh ke.... nice language. but oh so tajam."
Your msg got me confused. Nonetheless thank you for the progress package that i do not deserve. still under 21 years old.
I think the stanza that put people off is
"dan jangan cuba
andai bakat tiada
nak kata berbunga
sambil memerli ana"
Try reading it again.. it would make more sense. Im merely countering an attack.
For now, JUST FAAAAKKITT LAH......
Choose your protagonist and your antagonist
Pahlawan Putih
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